How to Get a Boyfriend is a stupid story about a girl who dates the wrong guy. As usual in these types of tales, what starts out with love and happiness ends in horror and death.
One day, I asked my Mom for advice about how to get a boyfriend. She went quiet for a while and then looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Don’t bother”, she said. Then she told me this story:
My mother’s name is Fran and she used to date this guy named Dave in highschool. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. One year later my mom dumped him. When my mother and her best friend (Bekky) turned 18, Bekky married Dave and left town. My mother didn’t hear from Bekky for about seven or eight years.
One day, my mom got a call. It was Bekky. She invited my mom to go to her mansion for dinner. My mom went that day and when she walked up the mansion’s steps, she came upon the front door. My mother knocked and knocked and knocked but no one answered. So my mother opened the unlocked door and went in.
Lying on the couch was my mom’s best friend, Bekky. She was completely dead and her head was missing. She had been decapitated. My Mom dialed 911 and the police showed up and they found Bekky’s head. It was behind the couch. There was also a terrible smell. They looked everywhere, and finally in the closet they found Bekky’s husband, Dave. He had stuffed an old sock as far down his throat as possible and suffocated himself.
Stapled on his head was a note which read: “Fran, you have no idea how much you hurt me when you dumped me in highschool. Well now I hope you’re happy. Your friend is dead! Gone FOREVER!!! Love, Dave.”
My mom never forgot about that night. Tip from me: Be careful for who you dump!
OMG!!!!!! He was a STUPID man! If his feet smelt real bad before he died, then imagine how that sock would smell now (probably enough to make you faint)! Anyways, 7/10 old socks down throats.
True love i always get dumped by boys
well at least im a guy
@paradise GOOD JOB
Um okay? I guess once again another story about love…WHY AND WHO WOULD KILL THEM SELVES BECAUSE OF A DUMB BREAK UP HOW ABOUT YOU JUST GET OVER IT!?
How did he staple a note to his head if he killed him self my suffacting
i like how he says “love, dave”
I’ve never had a bf and I intend to keep it that way for my religion ;)
I’m single :p
Well that’s ironic,a stinky smell ’cause of a stinky sock !!!
I WIll never dump u lito!
Oh, wow. Sluts.
cool but who marries somone just to get back at somone
o and dis is how you get a boi friend
1. fling ur butt around like u just dont care
2. pop ur boobs out cause they like that
3. try not to be clumsy ( i did that and the dude i liked laughed… i did too)
4! were something that makes you look skinny and like ur all that AND IF YOU GOT A GUT! just suck it in
thats all i gots to say for now but there is a whole bunch more
SHAME NESS!! boys r so dramatic like srsly lol
it is pretty stupid. if you want the girl back, don’t kill her best friend! and btw, you won’t get her back if you’re dead. lol.
thts just plain weird. how do u show someone how much u love them buy them flowers? ofcouse not just marry their best freind then kill them along with yourself….. and they say romance is dead!!!!!. :D.
I’m never dumping yew Kelsea!! <333
XD. Damn it, I dumped Samantha -_-‘ Samantha, here I come, don’t die!
Lol nice going Fran!