How to Get a Boyfriend is a stupid story about a girl who dates the wrong guy. As usual in these types of tales, what starts out with love and happiness ends in horror and death.
One day, I asked my Mom for advice about how to get a boyfriend. She went quiet for a while and then looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Don’t bother”, she said. Then she told me this story:
My mother’s name is Fran and she used to date this guy named Dave in highschool. They were boyfriend and girlfriend. One year later my mom dumped him. When my mother and her best friend (Bekky) turned 18, Bekky married Dave and left town. My mother didn’t hear from Bekky for about seven or eight years.
One day, my mom got a call. It was Bekky. She invited my mom to go to her mansion for dinner. My mom went that day and when she walked up the mansion’s steps, she came upon the front door. My mother knocked and knocked and knocked but no one answered. So my mother opened the unlocked door and went in.
Lying on the couch was my mom’s best friend, Bekky. She was completely dead and her head was missing. She had been decapitated. My Mom dialed 911 and the police showed up and they found Bekky’s head. It was behind the couch. There was also a terrible smell. They looked everywhere, and finally in the closet they found Bekky’s husband, Dave. He had stuffed an old sock as far down his throat as possible and suffocated himself.
Stapled on his head was a note which read: “Fran, you have no idea how much you hurt me when you dumped me in highschool. Well now I hope you’re happy. Your friend is dead! Gone FOREVER!!! Love, Dave.”
My mom never forgot about that night. Tip from me: Be careful for who you dump!