Stolen Phone is a funny scary story.
My phone was stolen last night. So I decided to call my own number.
Me: “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you’re looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money… but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you return my phone now, that will be the end of it – I will not look for you, I will not pursue you… but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you… and I will kill you!”
Voice: “Uh… This is the bartender from O’Malleys. You must have left your phone here last night. You can come in and pick it up whenever you want…”
Me: “Oh, right… Thanks.”