Baby Bjorn is a stupid story about a young mother who tosses her baby off a cliff and a young baby who comes back for revenge.
There was once a young woman named Ingrid who lived in a cottage in the mountains in Sweden. She had a baby boy and she named him “Baby Bjorn”. She hated her baby because he was stupid and not like other babies. Everyone always said Baby Bjorn was dopey and out of control.
One cold morning, the young mother was taking her little baby for a stroll over the mountains. Baby Bjorn didn’t know it, but that day would be his last.
While the mother pushing the stroller down the mountain road, she tripped and accidentally dropped Baby Bjorn in the mud. The baby was so dumb that he just began playing with the mud, picking it up and smearing it all over his face.
When the mother tried to pick him up, Baby Bjorn grabbed a handful of mud and stuffed it down her throat. This made the mother go crazy. In fact she got so mad that she went insane and, in a fit of anger, she took Baby Bjorn and tossed him off the cliff.
She listened for a few seconds. Then she heard a big splat as the baby landed at the bottom. The mother didn’t feel glad about what she had done, but the next day, she got over it.
Five Years Later, the mother was in the kitchen, chopping up some vegetables for dinner. Suddenly, she heard a child’s voice saying, “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Searching for your house!”
The mother was confused. “Oh, what was that”, she said to herself. “I must be hearing things again.”
She continued cutting the vegetables. Then she heard a voice saying, “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Ten miles away!”
The mother was a bit freaked out by this and started chopping the vegetables a bit faster.
Then she heard the voice again. “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! One mile away!” She was so shocked that she accidentally chopped off her own finger.
“Oh, I’d better get a band-aid”, she said as she walked upstairs, clutching the stump of her bleeding finger.
On the way, she looked out the window and saw nothing out there. Then, she heard the same voice saying “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Outside the front door!”
She got scared and hid in the closet.
Once again, she heard, “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Crawling in the kitchen!”
“Oh good”, the mother thought to herself. “He must not know where I am.”
The she heard, “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Grabbing himself a knife!”
The mother started screaming, but not out loud, just in her head.
Again, she heard, “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Going to the room!”
She could hear his little footsteps and his breathing. She could hear the bedroom door creaking.
She heard again, “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Going to the closet!”
She could hear him wheezing outside the closet door.
Suddenly, the door slowly opened. She saw Baby Bjorn standing there. He was holding a knife in his pudgy little hand. His baby clothes were torn and covered in mud. His face and head were covered with heaps of jagged scars.
The last thing she heard was, “Baby Bjorn! Baby Bjorn! Getting his revenge!”