My Neighborhood is a funny scary poem about a street that is filled with psychos, mental patients, serial killers and weirdos. It was inspired by an old song by Space called In My Neighborhood and you might notice some similarities.
It’s funny how quickly my neighborhood changed
Now, all of my neighbors are crazed and deranged.
My street grows crazier with each passing minute.
There’s just too many psychos and nutcases in it.
There’s a man in number 4 with a very dark side
He threw a Halloween party and served cyanide.
Everyone knows he’s an obsessive fanatic
He keeps the girl of his dreams tied up in his attic.
The old lady in number 2 believes she’s covered in bugs
Which is probably because she’s taken so many drugs.
She often paints pictures of puppies and clowns
And moldering corpses in white wedding gowns.
In 10 there was a musician who played the guitar
He spent his days stalking several Hollywood stars
At night, he sang songs and used to make quite a racket
Till they took him away in a tight white straight-jacket.
The man in number 26 developed schizophrenia
He buried his wife underneath the gardenias.
When you meet him by day he’s polite Mr Miller
But if you meet him at night, he’s a serial killer.
The man in number 6 suffered panic attacks
Until he chopped up some kids with a big bloody axe.
Now the doctors keep him under close observation
Every time he escapes, there’s a new decapitation.
In 25, there’s a guy who’s skinny and lean
He’s taller than Slenderman and he’s twice as mean.
Lately he’s becoming increasingly unglued
And has paranoid nightmares in which he’s always pursued.
The boy in number 12 is a nutty fruitcake
Every girl that he dates ends up in the lake.
Sometimes he can be such a mean little punk
He keeps his mom in the freezer and his dad in a trunk.
In number 16 is where a pyromaniac lurks
And every so often, he goes completely beserk
Sometimes when he snaps out of one of his dazes
He swears he can’t remember setting all of those blazes.
The man in 21 has a strange mental condition
He’s got a new job as the local mortician.
He enjoys it and says he loves all the splatter
Needless to say, he’s as mad as a hatter.