Crime Stories and mystery tales submitted by members of this website.
The Man in the Dark
As I drifted off to sleep, I had no idea what was lay in store for me. Later that night, I had a dream. In the dream, I was lying in bed, fully awake. There was a man standing at the foot of my bed. I was terrified. He inched closer and I tried to scream, but I couldn’t make a sound. As he drew closer, I could see he was clutching a hatchet. Suddenly, he raised it above his head and brought it crashing down. The blade sliced through my arms and my legs, chopping them off. The pain was unbearable. I didn’t think you were supposed to feel things in your dreams, but I could feel everything. I was in excruciating pain and I thought I was going to die. Just as he was about to bring the hatchet down on my neck, I suddenly woke up in a cold sweat. I rubbed my eyes and tried to calm down. When I got out of bed to get a drink of water, I fell over and lay sprawled on the floor of my bedroom. Looking down, I discovered something horrible. I couldn’t feel anything where my legs were supposed to be. I tried to wriggle my fingers, but there was nothing there. That was when I realized the dream was real! My bedroom door burst open and I saw the same man. Wielding his hatchet, he yelled, “I’M NOT FINISHED YET!!!” and chopped off my head. This was the end for me.
(Hope you like it! I worked very hard on this!!!)
There was an art teacher named Mrs. Hunt, who worked at my local school. All of her students adored her and looked forward to her class more than any other. There was just one thing that was slightly peculiar about Mrs. Hunt. All of the paint in her classroom was red. Other than that, none of the students has any suspicions about their favorite teacher. One day, a 5th grader named Kelly Jefferson was getting ready to leave and catch the bus home, when she realized she had left her jacket in Mrs. Hunt’s classroom. When she dashed down the hall and reached the classroom, she heard sinister laughter coming from inside the room. A little bit frightened, Kelly peered through the small glass window and saw Mrs. Hunt leaning over one of the tables. When she got up, Kelly saw there was a dead body lying on the table and Mrs. Hunt was holding a syringe filled with blood in her hand. Then, she grabbed one of the empty paint containers that were used in class and squirted the blood into it. Thoroughly disgusted, Kelly couldn’t stop herself from gagging. Hearing the noise, Mrs. Hunt suddenly turned around and saw Kelly standing outside. Terrified, Kelly bolted and ran down the hall as fast as she could. She heard Mrs. Hunt chasing after her. As Kelly turned a corner, she ran into the school principal. “She’s trying to kill me!” Kelly screamed in horror, tears streaming down her face. As the principal tried to calm her down, Mrs. Hunt showed up, clutching the bloody syringe in her hand. Quickly, the principal grabbed Kelly’s hand and they ran to the office to call the police. When the police arrived, Mrs. Hunt was arrested. Ever since then, all art classes have been permanently cancelled.
(I got the idea to write this story in science class. It just came to me. Hope you like it!)
There was a seven-year old boy named Tommy who still believed in the tooth fairy. It was late at night and little Tommy’s mother was preparing a snack for him, before he went to bed. When his mother asked him what he wanted to eat, he replied, “An apple!” His mother went to the pantry, pulled out a shiny red apple and handed it to her son. He was so hungry that he snatched the apple out of her hands and took a big bite out of it. The moment his teeth sank into the apple, he instantly regretted it. He felt a searing pain in his gums and when he took the apple out of his mouth, one of his teeth came with it. He started crying and his mother rushed over to see what the problem was. That’s when she found out his tooth had come out and was sticking out of the apple all bloody and red. She calmed him down, then carried him to bed and tucked him in. She placed his tooth under his pillow and, within minutes, he had fallen into a deep sleep. A few hours later, Tommy was awoken by a slight tug under his head. His eyes flew open within seconds he was startled, but then happy to see what appeared to be a tooth fairy? WRONG! Turns out on the news there had been a top story about a man breaking into people’s houses, and killing innocent children believe it or not he actually knew when there teeth had fallen out! So once he had saw just a second glimse at the ‘tooth fairy’ he was stabbed to death by a half wand half knife then was carried outside the house and into a nearby swamp never to be seen again. The mother awoke the next morning she was curious why her son had not come down stairs for breakfast so she sent her husband up to investigate. He had no problem getting up from the table and trotting himself up there. Thats when he opened the door, and just stared then he started to laugh, he laughed so hard that the mother then came up and screamed when she saw some blood on the bed but her son was no where to be seen. The mother asked “what happened?” “Did you kill him?” The father then turned around and had an evil smile on his old wrinckled face he then said “Well it looks as if you found out about my secret! You know your not as smart as you thought you were. So to answer the question I know your thiking…YES you ignorent women it was me ALL alone i’m the man who killed all those children, and do you know why? Because I found it fun. and now that you know im forced to kill you. So say good bye b!@#$!” And with that he took out his wand switched it into a blade and stabbed her in both her eyes, carried her outside and through her in a bonfire then went inside had himself a bear ready for the following night to come so he could find his next victom.
(SFK!! I hope you post my story! I have never had any of my stories posted b4 like hide and seek or ghost girl I think this one beats them both and I dont mind if u make changes I would really just like for kids and others to comment and read it. Thanks so much in advance.)
Annie was a 10-year old girl who always had itchy eyes. She would keep scratching them until they were swollen and painful. After a while, her eys hurt so much that she needed medical attention. Her parents took her to an eye doctor who lived in a strange old house nearby. The mysterious eye doctor gave Annie’s parents some eyedrops and told them that they should put them in their daughter’s eyes twice a day for two weeks. As time passed, the young girl’s swollen eyes never healed. Instead, they became worse. Her parents didn’t know what to do, so they took her to the eye doctor again. After examining Annie’s eyes, he said she needed to take the eye drops for at least another week. The problem was so severe that Annie had to stay home from school and she was absent for an entire week. Soon, her eyes swelled up to the size of baseballs. They were covered in sores and pus began leaking out. It wasn’t long before the poor girl became blind. Weeks passed by and the eye doctor said that the only thing that could cure Annie’s ailment was to have intensive surgery done on her eyes. Fortunately, her parents had enough money to pay for the operation. The eye doctor dragged Annie into a room and as he closed the door behind him, Annie’s parents noticed a devilish smile on his face. The couple waited anxiously outside until they heard a loud scream coming from the room. When they threw open the door and rushed inside, they were horrified by what they saw. Their beloved daughter’s eyes were missing. There were two deep holes in her head where her eyes had been. Stacked around the room, they saw numerous jars, all filled with a green liquid. Floating in the liquid were pairs of eyes. The doctor held up Annie’s eyes and exclaimed, “one more pair for the collection!”
Erika always took the same route back and forth to school. The walk was a few minutes longer, but the young girl preferred the quiet path through the woods. It was completely isolated and gave her time to think in peace with only the soothing sounds of nature to keep her company. it provided a great relief from the noisy hustle and bustle of the school. One day, in early Autumn, Erika was walking down the path, when she noticed a beautiful white bonnet, trapped between a pile of stones and leaves. Carefully, she picked up the bonnet and observed it curiously. It seemed to be made of a very fine silk and was very intricately hand-woven. She brought it home with her after school that day and took to admiring herself in the mirror when she wore it. That night, Erika’s eyelids began to feel heavy and she let out a yawn. She took off the bonnet and began to get ready for bed. In the bathroom, she grabbed her hairbrush and began to untangle her hair which was messy from the long day at school. Her head suddenly began to itch and she felt a sharp pain in her scalp. With every stroke of the brush, her head started to bleed and her hair began to fall out. She grimaced in disgust and threw the brush at the mirror, breaking it and sending a few shards of glass flying about the room. She hesitated before looking again into a fragment of the glass and discovering her head was not bleeding. However, when looking at the brush she noticed something quite peculiar. Her long wavy hair was as black as ebony, yet the hair on the brush was a stark white. Startled, she went to bed. The next morning, she went along on her usual route to school when she heard the echo of footsteps behind her. Erika turned around and saw a little girl following her. The child’s skin was deathly pale and her dark blue eyes were staring right through her. “Give it back!” the little girl whispered as she slowly approached. The little girl’s head was bleeding. Erika took a frightened step back. The other girl took her hat off, to reveal a bleeding, hairless and skinless scalp. “Give me my hair back,” she hissed as she revealed a large butcher’s knife that she had been hiding behind her back. Scared but unable to scream, Erika tried to run away but her foot got stuck in a pile of stones and leaves. That night, when Erika failed to come home, her mother feared her daughter had been kidnapped. She called the police and a search team was sent out into the woods. Despite searching all night long, the only trace of Erika they could find was the beautiful black bonnet, trapped in between a pile of stones and leaves.
The Halloween Stalker
It was a chilly Halloween night and two young girls named Kyla and Sammie had just finished trick-or-treating. They decided to head back to Kyla’s house, unaware that someone was following them. When the pair reached home, Kyla discovered a note stuck to the door. It was from her mother, telling Kyla that she had gone to a party and wouldn’t be back until late. Kyla crumpled up the note and unlocked the door. The two girls sat down on the living room floor and began sorting through their candy. When they were finished, they decided to watch a movie. Kyla picked out a scary horror film and put it in the DVD player. While the previews were on, Kyla glanced out the window and noticed a man standing across the street. He was staring directly at her. She got up and closed the curtain. The man’s intense stare disturbed her, but when the movie started, she soon forgot about it. After a little while, Sammie went upstairs to use the bathroom and Kyla went to the kitchen to get a soda. When she came back, she discovered a note lying on the ground. It read: “Don’t go outside.” Kyla thought it was just Sammie playing a prank on her, so she crumpled up the note and tossed it in the garbage. A few minutes later, Sammie came back downstairs and said she had to go home. Kyla said goodbye, but as soon as she opened the front door, Kyla heard her screaming. Kyla jumped out of her seat and ran into the hallway to investigate. She was horrofoed to see the creepy man standing there at the front door. In his hand, he was holding Sammie’s severed head. Kyla tried to run but the man grabbed her by the hair and lifted her up. With one swift motion, he twisted her head around and snapped her neck. Then, he took his knife and sliced off her head. That night, when Kyla’s mother returned from the party, she found the severed heads of Kyla and Sammie lying on her front doorstep. Next to them was a note that read: “I warned them not to come outside, but I guess some people just don’t listen.”
Don’t Look Back
It was just a typical friday night and I was walking my friend home, because she was afraid to walk alone in the dark. It was ten o’clock and I still had to return home by myself. When we reached her house, I made sure she got safely inside before I left. We said goodbye to each other and I started walking home. Just as I turned the corner, I received a funny text message from my friend that read: “Don’t look back! Love ya lots!” I texted her back, writing, “What are you on about?” She replied, “Don’t look back when someone calls out your name.” I was puzzled by her response, but I didn’t text her back, because she had started to scare me. I was walking fast, trying to get home as soon as possible. All of a sudden, I heard footsteps following me. I quickened my pace, but the footsteps were still hot on my heels. Then, I heard a voice shout, “Crystal! Crystal!” but i was afraid to turn around. The voice kept shouting, “Crystal! Crystal! Turn Around! Turn around!” I was terrified. “No! Leave me alone!” I cried, but the voice wouldn’t give up. It kept yelling, “Crystal! Crystal! Turn Around! Turn around!” Finally I stopped in my tracks. “Fine” I shouted as I turned around and looked back. “What do you want?” Standing behind me was an older girl. She came running at me with a hatchet raised above her head. I ran screaming down the road. I didn’t know what else to do. I was just a short distance from my house, and she was getting closer and closer. All of a sudden, I tripped over a tree root and fell on my face. Lying there in the dirt, I knew I was going to die. Seconds later, she was towering over me with the hatchet poised to strike. The last words I heard were, “Bye-bye Crystal! Sleep Tight!” If you ever get a text message telling you not to look back, just do as it says. It might just save your life.
Mommy always told me to never ever open the basement door. I really wanted to see what was making that noise down there. It kind of sounded like a puppy dog, and I’ve always wanted a puppy! I love doggies! So I opened the basement door and tip-toed down the stairs. I just wanted to see the doggy. But, when i reached the bottom step and peered into the darkness, I didn’t see any doggy. Suddenly, Mommy came and grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and dragged me up the stairs. In the kitchen, she got really really mad and yelled at me. She told me to never go down there again, never ever! Mommy had never yelled at me before, so I got scared and started to cry a lot. Mommy said “Honey, I’m sorry,” and gave me a cookie. It was chocolate chip cookie, which was my favourite so I never asked why the boy in the basement was making that puppy dog noise or why he had no hands and feet.
Amy was overjoyed. It was her 13th birthday. Her best friends, Chloe, Michael and Jack had come over to her house to celebrate the special occasion. Amy’s parents were out of town on a business trip, so she was home alone. Each of her friends had brought something with them, Jack had brought pizza, Chloe had brought cake and Michael had brought fizzy drinks. Amy was certain that this would be the best party ever. That night, Amy’s friends decided to have a sleepover. Jack thought it would be cool to spend the night in the old house at the end of the street. It was rumored to be haunted. Amy was scared. “They say that people who go there never come back!” she whined. However, her Michael just laughed at her. “If you’re chicken, you don’t have to come,” he said. Not wanting to look like a coward, Amy reluctantly agreed to go along with the plan. The four friends rolled up their sleeping bags, grabbed their pillows and carried them down the street, to the haunted house. The front door creaked open on its own. Jack whooped and ran into the house. Slowly, one by one, the others followed. They looked around and Jack started climbing the stairs. When he reached the top, he turned and beckoned to the others to follow him. Chloe and Michael did, but Amy stayed behind. “I don’t want to, it looks dangerous, I want to go home!” She told them. Suddenly, a scream pierced the silence of the night. Amy ran up the stairs to see what was wrong and was horrified by what she saw. The ghost of a young woman with no eyes and razor sharp teeth was devouring Amy’s friends alive. Crying her eyes out, Amy ran out of the cursed house as fast as she could. As she fled, she heard a voice behind her shout, “You’re next!” The mysterious murders in the old house were never solved and today, they remain unexplained. Amy was sent to a mental asylum because she was discovered lying in the road, babbling about ghosts.
The Cursed Woman
There once was a Japanese woman who was very pretty. Her name was Julia and she had long black shiny hair. There was another woman, named Margarita, who was very jealous of her. The main reason was that her hair was completely white and some people mistook her for an old woman. She had always envied the girl with black hair. Julia knew she was being followed every night by a woman with long white hair. One night, while Julia was asleep, Margarita decided to put a curse on her. So she got one strand of her lovely black hair and covered it with three small drops of blood from her hand. Margarita then chanted “Black hair, Black hair, make my hair black and replace my white hair. Curse Julia with white hair instead”. The curse worked. While Julia was asleep, every strand of her black hair magically faded until her hair was pure white. Meanwhile,Margarita was looking at herself in the mirror. Her hair began to grow darker and darker, until it became pitch black. The next day, Julia was being called an old woman despite her young appearance, because her beautiful black hair had faded and turned to white. Julia was so upset that she isolated herself from the world. She didn’t want people to laugh at her. For weeks, she kept herself shut in her house. One night, the stress of the situation caused her to snap and she went insane. She grabbed a very sharp knife and went out into the street. A young girl saw her stumbling down the road, her mane of white hair blowing in the breeze, and couldn’t help laughing at her and calling her an old woman. Julia’s face immediately twisted into a hideous and creepy smile. She held up the knife. The young girl was scared and tried to apologize, but Julia showed no mercy and sliced the girl to pieces. Every night, she would come out and kill any young woman who made fun of her. When the police caught her, they thought she was a witch and executed her by burning her at the stake. Before she died she shouted “I SHALL COME BACK!! DEATH CANNOT HOLD ME!!” After she died, they placed her ashes on the doorstep of her house and every year, on the anniversary of her death, her ghost returns to hunt and kill young women with black hair.
Lexi was only 14 years old, but her parents decided that she was finally old enough to stay home alone while they went out to dinner. She was in the middle of watching her favorite horror movie. It was about a serial killer who would sneak into girls’ homes and hide in the shower. When the movie was over, Lexi had to pee. When she sat on the toilet, she looked at the shower curtains and got the chills because they were closed. The movie she had been watching made her a little paranoid. She got up and pulled the curtains back. She was relieved to find the bathtub was empty. She decided to take a bath then go to bed. When she was done, she made her way to her bedroom to get changed for bed. Then, she got the feeling that she was being watched. She tried to just shrug it off as horror movie paranoia. When she closed the door, she noticed that the curtains on her bedroom window curtains were open. “God, I hate it when my curtains aren’t drawn at night,” she muttered. She got up to draw the curtains, then climbed back into bed and fell asleep. When she woke up, it was midnight. She had to pee again. She went to the bathroom and noticed that the shower curtains were closed. “What the hell?” she muttered to herself. “I could have sworn that I left these open.” She reached out to open the curtains and suddenly screamed in horror. There was a large man with blonde hair standing in the bathtub. He was holding the largest butcher knife Lexi had ever seen. “Never check behind the closed curtains, it could kill you,” he said in a raspy voice as he raised the knife above his head and brought it crashing it down, stabbing Lexi in the chest. When her parents got home later that night, her mother had to use the bathroom. When she walked in, and turned on the light, she was greeted by the most gruesome sight she had ever laid eyes on. The bathtub was filled with blood, guts and internal organs. Lexi’s skin was hanging from the shower rail. She had been turned into a human shower curtain. Her mother screamed and backed away in horror. Suddenly, she felt her shoe step on something squishy. She looked down and realized that she had stepped on an eyeball. She screamed louder when she read the note on the mirror, written in blood. It read: “I hope you enjoy your new shower curtains!”
One night, a lanky teenager was walking down an eerie alleyway. He was happy because he had just finished a date with his girlfriend and was heading home to his cosy bed. Suddenly, there was a loud bang from the side of the pathway and he froze. He peered into the darkness. There was nothing there. He shrugged his shoulders and continued on his way. Again, he was stopped in his tracks by a loud scraping noise from the side of the path. His heart thudded in his chest. He ignored the scraping sounds and picked up his pace, wanting to get home as quickly as possible. Letting out a piercing shriek, he tripped on a large, perculiar object just laying in the middle of the path. His heart thudded as he leaned over to pick up the strange object. He gasped as he heard a low, almost mocking, voice saying, “Twenty-three! Twenty-three!” It kept repeating itself, but then stopped abruptly. As he held the object in his hands, he felt a sticky liquid clinging to his palms. Suddenly, he heard the sound of ragged breathing. His eyes widened with shock as a large pair of hands grasped his legs and dragged him down into the darkness. There was a scream that was filled with horror, then the alley was filled with silence once again. The next morning, two policemen went to investivate the case of a missing teenager. As the trudged down the cold alleyway, they heard a soft voice on the wind, whispering, “Twenty-four. Twenty-four.” The policemen gaped in horror as they cames across the remains of the missing teenager. His head was placed on a garbage can, with his body, arms and legs flopped down beside it. The eyes and tongue had been cut out and were nowhere to be seen. The policemen felt a chill run down their spines. They grabbed for their guns, but they were too late. They both let out a horrible moan. Pedestrians nearby heard the awful commotion and curiously popped their heads in to see what was going on. There was nothing there, but a moan on the wind chanting, “Twenty-six! Twenty-six!”
(OK here I go. I dedicate this story to scary for kids cause they rock! I hope you like my story! I hope to become an author when I grow up!)
Pretty Little Lauren
Lauren was a beautiful girl. She had a perfect face, with dark brown eyes and long brown hair. She had everything a girl wants to look beautiful. Lauren was always wearing her pink headbow too. She had good friends, a boyfriend, Good singing, EVERYTHING.However, she had recently got into a fight with her friend, Christina, she had light brown hair and blue eyes. She had no friends now, and they were friends since preschool. They used to be inseperable, and now they had to be seperated without Christina hurting Lauren. She would kick, punch, and torture Lauren. By the end of the day, Lauren would be crying. Months later, she couldn’t stand the torture anymore. She had bruises everywhere, and a bloody nose. Eventually she was planning suicide. One night, she was just about to hang herself. She had to be quiet, because her older sister Lisa was home. Lisa knocked on the door, with tears in her eyes, Lauren opened the door. “Christina is here. She’s refusing to leave.” Lisa said. “Let her in, I don’t care.” Lauren said. She wiped away the tears and went downstairs. She opened the door. “Hi Christina,” Lauren said, trying not to cry.
“Hi Lauren!” Christina said, with a smile on her face. “Thats weird. Usually you don’t smile like that.” Lisa said. “Go away you freak!” Christina yelled. “Whatever…” Lisa said.
“Don’t call my sister a freak!” Lauren yelled. Christina pulled Lauren out the door, and dragged her to her house and shoved her into a bush, and then jumping on top of her and stomping on her face. Christina had a knife, continuously stabbing Lauren in the stomach. She was bleeding non-stop through her zebra striped hoodie, eventually she died. She left Laurens dead body.
The next day,Laurens body was found by Christinas mom. Christina HAD to go to the funeral, boring her. When she got home, she took off her clothes and high heels, and went to take a bath.She grabbed her hot chocolate and relaxed in the bubble bath. However, Christina heard a laugh. It sounded really simalar… Oh well. Christina continued to relax.
Then she heard cries of laughter. Christina was getting WAY too freaked out. She dried off, put her robe on, and went outside to look around. She found a big trail of blood, leading to a bush. Nervous as heck, she went into the bush. Christinas neighbours heard her terrified screams. They went into the backyard to see what was going on. There, they found Christina lting in a bush. Her whole body had been skinned alive, but what killed her really scared the neighbors. She had a pink headbow tied toghtly around her neck.
Jessica was looking forward to her 12th birthday. When the day arrived, she could hardly contain her excitement. In the morning, her parents made her pancakes and bacon while she was getting dressed. That day, Jessica ate her birthday cake and opened up her presents. One gift was so big that it took all of her relatives to carry it in from the porch! While they were unwrapping the present, the phone rang. Jessica thought it must be her boyfriend, calling to wish her a happy birthday, so she ran over to answer it. But when she picked up the receiver, all she could hear was a bone-chilling scream. She thought that someone was behind her, so she turned around, and she thought she saw a shadow. But the screaming on the phone was creeping Jessica out, so she turned around and hung up the phone. After that, She thanked everybody for coming and emailed her bestfriend, Bekki, about the disturbing phonecall. Bekki just shrugged it off and said it must have been a prank call. So Jessica went to bed. At about 11:30 pm, she woke up in a cold sweat. She got the feeling that something was watching her. She slowly turned around and saw a terrifying sight. It was a shadow. The shadow of Beki. But the shadow looked like it was screaming, and it had horns too. The shadow suddenly stopped screaming and walked toward’s Jessica’s bed. Then it crouched down beside Jessica and whispered “your next”. Jessica screamed and ran into her parents room, waking them up and trying to tell them what happened. But her parents didn’t beleive her, so Jessica’s dad walked her back to her room and said ” it was your imagination. Forget about it. And Jessica believed him, so she went back to bed. But she couldn’t sleep. The more she thought about the shadow, the more she believed it was real. At 11:59 pm, she got that feeling again. She sat up and looked at her closet. The door as open. Jessica always closed her closet door. The same shadow came out of the closet, but this time, it’s eyes were glowing red and it had something in it’s hand. Jessica realized what was happening. She started to scream as the shadow ran across the room and pounced on her. The shadow’s hand reached out and pierced through her chest. It pulled out her heart and held it up in the air, still beating rapidly. The next day, Jessica’s parents came downstairs to eat breakfast and on the wall, written in blood, it said “Your daughter is no more”. They called the police and they came over right away. They searched the house from top to bottom but they never found Jessica. At Jessica’s funeral, Bekki swore she saw a shadow. But then her cell phone rang and she looked away…
I totally I agree with you,while I am of the opinion that not everyone is a bestselling author,but still if someone is a writer,then he/she should be able to write stories better than the ones given here.some of the stories here are just way too stupid that it would be disgrace to call it a story.i am not being mean guys,there were a few good stories on this section but most of them were very badly written,and I see no reason to sugar coat that fact.if any one of you genuinely want these writers to improve, tell them the real thing rather than being sweet to them.Criticism would help them to improve and use some good brains while working on a good story idea.All these writers are talented,they had good themes but the way it was developed and written were very bad.i hope they would improve.Let us appreciate good writings.
Shut the fuck up, please. Not everyone is a best-selling author. It’s good enough that they’re stories even got featured here. At least praise them for coming up with something. You don’t need to be so damn harsh singling out all of the tiniest mistakes.
Ever heard of hair dye?
Theese are amazing!!!!
Tooth fairy was my favorite!!! 👍👍👍😍😍😍😉
These are really good :)
I Agree With Justwondered. These Stories Are Good, Just Take His/Her Advice.
I Don’t Like “Man In The Dark” Cause Its Stupid. How Can The Person Rub Their Eyes If Their Arms Are Missing?
Lol, The girl in mommys basement only didn’t tell her mom about the kid with no arms nor legs because she wanted her cookie. XD
I liked all the storys.
I like mommy’s basement
All good stories, especially Mommy’s basement. Really unpredictable. But Im lost for the last story, I dont get the last part…
Okay, here’s the ones I thought were stupid, and why I thought that:
The Man in the Dark:
Gosh, this one is the worst. Let’s get through this QUICKLY.
Reason why it was bad:
You die. “Then I died” is not good enough. Notice I said you and not “the character” because the character is you, secondly HOW DO YOU RUB YOUR EYES WITH NO ARMS?! And third, the “the dream was real” thing is just plain stupid.
This wasn’t isn’t as bad, IT’S WORSE.
Reason why bad:
“half wand half knife” okay, this just proves this story only needs ONE reason that it’s stupid, and THIS is it. Though I added more reasons, this one is the worst on them all. What even is a half wand half knife? I’m CERTAIN it isn’t real. It even sounds stupid. Those don’t exist, and wont ever exist. It’s very unrealistic. Second, WHY WOULD THE MAN BE LAUGHING. Seriously, if he did that, he’d instantly be found out. And how he knows the “exact time” and stuff, and how it was his father. That’s just. Just no.
Amy’s Sleepover: Unoriginal. The cliches.
Reason why bad:
Unlike the others, this one completely only needs ONE REASON. It’s that the haunted house plot is so overused, the too scared to come inside cliche, SERIOUSLY. Does it really need that much more explanation?
Pretty Little Lauren: Oh gosh…
Oh gosh. Really. PERFECT? REALLY? That’s SO overused it is not even funny, second why would someone friends with her from preschool torture her and murder her just because of a little fight/arguement, otherwise I have no problem with this one or Amy’s Sleepover.
And here’s some advice/tips to the creators of those stories:
Use ORIGINALITY. This is your secret weapon. Have a good idea? Don’t let it go to waste.
DON’T have stupid things. Maybe things that you know don’t exist *hinthint half wand half knife hinthint* or maybe, JUST HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE AND KNOW YOUR CHARACTER’S ARMS ARE CHOPPED OFF AND THEY CAN’T RUB THEIR EYES!
Use confusion, confusing plotwists or just have someone with amazing stories judge your story. I didn’t get Mommy’s basement for a while, so it confused me and used that element BEAUTIFULLY.
Hope you can use these tips to make a better story!
I liked mommy’s basement
I don’t get mommy’s basement 😒
i agree with raafy mommys basement is kinda good
I want to be an author when I grow up too, Malevolent and Sinister! :)
The first one says rubbed my eyes and tried to calm down but she didnt have any arms how did she rub her eyes?? *common sense* -_-
Eye Doctor is amazing!! :D
Dont Look Back and Mommy’s Basement is wonderful!!
Sorry I didnt read the others.. Some other time.. Getting too sleepy.. Good night everyone!!