Viper

The Viper is a funny scary story about a man who gets a mysterious phone call one night from someone who identifies himself as “The Viper”. It’s an old joke that kids have been telling each other in the school playground for generations. It is also known as “The Vinder Viper” and “The Vipers are Coming!” Versions of this story have appeared in the books “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” and “The Scary Story Reader”.

The Viper

There was a man who inherited a house when his uncle died. The house sat on a hill outside of town and rumor had it that the old place was haunted. The man decided to move in straight away despite his reservations.

But late that night, the phone rang and when he answered it, a creepy voice said, “I am the Viper. I will be there in 2 hours!” and then it hung up before he could say anything.

Not long afterwards, the phone rang again and the same creepy voice said, “I am the Viper. I will be there in 20 minutes!” and hung up.

This made the man quite nervous and he began to wonder who this mysterious caller could be.

Before he knew it, the phone was ringing again. “I am the Viper. I will be there in 10 minutes!” The man was getting much more concerned now.

A few minutes later, the phone rang. “I am the Viper. I will be there in 5 minutes!”

Needless to say, the man began to panic.

Again, the phone rang and the man slowly lifted the receiver and put it to his ear.

“I am the Viper. I will be there in 1 minute!” said the voice.

The man ran around locking all the windows and doors and then called the police. They told him that officers were on their way.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Shaking with fear, the man opened the door a crack and asked, “Is that the police?”

“No”, replied the voice, “I am the Viper. I come every night to vash and vipe your vindows… Vere should I start?”

(Note: I came across another funny version of this story. Kids at a summer camp would run around screaming, “The vipers are coming! The vipers are coming!” When everyone was scared, they would pull out a roll of toilet paper and ask, “Anyone need a vipe?”)

Comments

  1. HorrorFanGirl says

    best funny story! vhy areee you scared? i just said i am ze viper..i cam from vvverry far avay

  2. Calida0714 says

    I remember it differently. The last line was: “I am the Viper. I vish to vosh and vipe the vindows.”

  3. Jarin Sanzana says

    LMAO!!!! LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1I CANTSTOP LAUGHING LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!LMAO U KNOW THE REST

  4. Kema says

    This was my all time favorite story to read when I was young, love it I couldn’t stop laughing when I heard it in reading class.

  5. bloodylucy says

    LOL some one got an accent lol
    For the one who do not get it
    Viper=wiper
    vipe=wipe

  6. I dont know if im dead says

    The “Viper who comes to vipe his windows” sounds an awful lot like a vampire. Or maybe he’s Romanian…

  7. Paradise says

    Indian ;) I heard a different version from my friend:-
    A woman was alone at her house and her husband was away. She was a bit scared to be alone but she figured that she can always call the neighbors over later. Then the telephone rang.
    “Hello?” the woman answered.
    “I am the lady with the dirty hands, I’ll be at your house in 2 hours.” and the lady hung up. The woman nearly jumped out of her skin. She contacted her husband and he said he’ll come as soon as he can. Then the telephone rang.
    “H-h-hello?” the woman said in a squeaky voice.
    “I am the lady with the dirty hands. I’ll be at your house in 30 minutes.” and she hung up. The lady called the police and they came over as well as her neighbors. Then the telephone rang.
    “Hello?” the woman answered confidently since she had the police and there was nothing to fear.
    “I am the lady with the dirty hands. I’ll be at your hous in 1 minute.” the woman notified the cop and they waited by the door. Then the phone rang.
    “Hello?”
    “I am the lady with the dirty hands. I am at your door.” then she hung up, and the door bell rang.
    The cops opened the door and pointed a gun at the lady standing there.
    “Hello, I am the lady with the dirty hands. Mind if I wash at your sink?” :)

  8. sakura says

    hahahahah aahhahah aah ahhh ahahhahahahha can’t hahhahahha stop hahahaha laughing hahahahhaa

  9. fromhell666 says

    i remember reading this when i was a kid i thought it was hilarious when i 1st heard it

  10. clairethecookiemonster says

    wait a second… if he’s the viper, then how come he said he will be there instead of vill be there?

  11. keyaira says

    This story is funny. I thought he was a killer. Still, it sucks that no one died. jk LOL.

  12. kirbygirl1 says

    A girl is home alone and the phone rings. She picks it up and someone says “I am bloody finger im on your street”. 5 minutes later: “I am bloody finger im on your driveway.” 3 minutes later: “I am bloody finger im coming up the stairs.” 1 minute later the door bell rings. She opens it and a man in a dark coat comes up and says “I am bloody finger i need a bandaid.” my friend <3s that1

  13. AaronMaster2007 says

    Heh. I loved these stories as a kid. Theres also bloody fingers where this spirit says bloody fingers over and over again….Near the end it was pretty funny too.

  14. pinkKaygana says

    I heard a different version of this story. my friend told it to me as a joke:
    A woman is home alone when the phone rings.
    “i am 20 steps away from ur house, and i am dripping blood.”
    “i am 10 steps away from ur house, and i am dripping blood.”
    “i am 5 steps away from ur house, and i am dripping blood.”
    “i am at ur front door, and i am dripping blood.”
    the doorbell rings. there is a man. his finger is bleeding.
    “Hey, do you have, like, a bandage or something?”

  15. zombieapocolypsplanner says

    dude they mean (w)iper not viper lol get it vipe wipe haha yea………………….

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