The Viper is a funny scary story about a man who gets a mysterious phone call one night from someone who identifies himself as “The Viper”. It’s an old joke that kids have been telling each other in the school playground for generations. It is also known as “The Vinder Viper” and “The Vipers are Coming!” Versions of this story have appeared in the books “Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark” and “The Scary Story Reader”.
There was a man who inherited a house when his uncle died. The house sat on a hill outside of town and rumor had it that the old place was haunted. The man decided to move in straight away despite his reservations.
But late that night, the phone rang and when he answered it, a creepy voice said, “I am the Viper. I will be there in 2 hours!” and then it hung up before he could say anything.
Not long afterwards, the phone rang again and the same creepy voice said, “I am the Viper. I will be there in 20 minutes!” and hung up.
This made the man quite nervous and he began to wonder who this mysterious caller could be.
Before he knew it, the phone was ringing again. “I am the Viper. I will be there in 10 minutes!” The man was getting much more concerned now.
A few minutes later, the phone rang. “I am the Viper. I will be there in 5 minutes!”
Needless to say, the man began to panic.
Again, the phone rang and the man slowly lifted the receiver and put it to his ear.
“I am the Viper. I will be there in 1 minute!” said the voice.
The man ran around locking all the windows and doors and then called the police. They told him that officers were on their way.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Shaking with fear, the man opened the door a crack and asked, “Is that the police?”
“No”, replied the voice, “I am the Viper. I come every night to vash and vipe your vindows… Vere should I start?”
(Note: I came across another funny version of this story. Kids at a summer camp would run around screaming, “The vipers are coming! The vipers are coming!” When everyone was scared, they would pull out a roll of toilet paper and ask, “Anyone need a vipe?”)