Funny Tales

Funny tales, scary stories and good jokes to tell.

Funny Tales

Funny Tale – Who’s The Boss?

There was a young girl who went to summer camp. She was very unpopular with the other children because she was extremely bossy and selfish. After a few days, the other kids refused to speak to her and asked the counsellors to move her to another cabin. The counsellors put her in a cabin on her own. It was known as the haunted cabin.

On the first night she slept there, the girl took out a marker and wrote on the wall, “I’m the boss!” Then, she went to bed. In the middle of the night, she felt something crawling up her sheets. Soft hands wrapped around her neck and strangled her.

In the morning, the counsellors came in and found the girl lying dead in her bed. On the wall above her was the inscription, “No, I’m the boss!”

Funny Tale – The Cemetery Gates

It was midnight and a policeman was walking past a deserted, old cemetery. The cemetery gates were standing open and when he glanced inside, he thought he saw something moving in the darkness. Suddenly, he saw that it was something white and it was approaching fast. The policeman drew his gun and began shooting at it.

The next day, the policeman was found dead outside the old cemetery. His corpse was lying on the sidewalk. In one hand, he was clutching a gun and the other hand was clutching his chest. He had died of a heart attack. Next to him was an old newspaper with several bullet holes in it.

Funny Tale – The Taxi Driver

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed and lost control of the cab. He nearly hit a bus, then drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a telephone pole.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the taxi driver said, “You scared the daylights out of me.”

The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a tap on the shoulder could frighten someone so much.”

“Well, today is my first day on the job,” said the taxi driver. “I used to drive a hearse.”

Funny Tale – The Hunter

Two hunters were out in the woods when, all of a sudden, one of them collapsed on the ground. He was lying perfectly still and didn’t seem to be breathing. His eyes were glazed over. The other hunter quickly grabbed his mobile phone and called emergency services.

When the operator answered, the man shouted, “My friend is dead! What should I do?”

The operator tried to calm the man down. In a soothing voice, she said, “Take it easy. I can help. First of all, let’s make sure he’s really dead.”

There was a long silence. Then, the operator heard the sound of a gunshot.

“OK,” said the hunter. “Now what?”

Funny Tale – Seven Seven Seven

One night, a woman was walking by the beach when she suddenly saw a man sitting close to the water.

He kept on saying “Seven! Seven! Seven!”

She approached him and asked, “Why do you keep on saying Seven?”

“If you really want to know, come closer” he replied.

The woman was curious, so she went closer to him. As soon as she was standing i front of him, the man stabbed her with a knife and threw her into the water. Then, he sat back down and said, “Eight! Eight! Eight!”

Funny Tale – The Dog and the Ball

A young man was bringing his new girlfriend out on a date. He was waiting in the living room of her high-rise apartment while she was getting dressed and putting on her makeup. He was bored and he decided to play with her frisky little dog. He picked up a ball and began throwing it for the dog to catch. He accidentally bounced it too hard and it flew out the sliding door and fell over the balcony. Without a thought, the dog followed the ball and fell over the balcony too.

When his girlfriend came out, the young man had no idea what to do or say. She didn’t seem to notice the dog’s absence. At dinner, the man said, “You know, your dog seemed a little depressed this evening…”

Funny Tale – The Black Puddle

One morning, a girl was walking her younger brother to school. On the way, they noticed a black puddle in the middle of the road. As they walked past, the young boy stepped in the puddle and fell straight through. His horrified sister tried to catch him, but she tripped and fell in too.

Later that day, the children’s parents got a phonecall from the school telling them that their kids were missing. The frantic parents went out and began to look for the children. They accidentally stepped into the black puddle and also disappeared. Some people who were driving by saw what had happened and phoned the police.

A few minutes later, two policemen arrived and began searching the area. When they noticed the black puddle, they approached it cautiously. Peeking over the edge, they saw that it was a deep and narrow hole. At the bottom of the hole, they saw a man sitting there. He was gnawing on human bones.

New Years Massacre

A terrible incident occurred in a small town in Russia on December 31st. A family was preparing for a New Year’s Eve party. The father was in the lounge ironing clothes and the mother was in the kitchen chopping sausages and cabbage. Their young son was running around the house with a pair of scissors and generally getting in everyone’s way.

Suddenly, the boy accidentally bumped into his mother and the scissors sliced into the back of her leg. The mother fell backwards and the knife slipped from her grasp. The small boy was right underneath her and the knife went straight through his chest and pierced his heart. He was killed instantly. The mother screamed in horror and the father came running into the room. When he saw the dead child lying on the kitchen floor, he flew into a fit of anger and struck the mother in the head with the iron. Realizing what he had done, he went outside and committed suicide, hanging himself from a tree.

When police discovered the horrible scene, they arrested the pair of scissors and it spent seven years in prison.

Funny Tale – Fear Of The Dead

One dark night, a young woman was walking home from work. Her path took her through the cemetery. As she approached the cemetery gates, she began to shake with fear. Suddenly, she saw a man walking along the road. The woman stopped him and asked him to escort her home. He agreed and as they passed through the cemetery, the woman clung to him and trembled.

“Why are you trembling?” asked the man.

“It is terrible,” replied the woman. “I am very afraid of the dead.”

The man was surprised and asked with a smile, “Why be afraid of us?”

Funny Tale – Slap Slap Slap

A woman was walking down the street at midnight, when she heard a slap, slap, slap sound behind her. She looked around but there was no one there.

She went on walking only to again hear the slap, slap, slap. Again, she looked around to find no one there. She was frightened and ran to the bus stop. The slap, slap, slap followed close on her heels.

As she sat on the bus, everything was silent. When she reached her stop and got off the bus, she heard the slap, slap, slap sound again. She looked around but, there was still no one there. The woman was now terribly frightened.

All the way home: slap, slap, slap. Up the stairs: slap, slap, slap.

As she stood at the door of her apartment, fumbling for her keys, she saw a man in a black cloak coming up the stairs.

The man looked at her strangely and said: “In my opinion, the heel came off your sandals.”

Funny Tale – The Poisoned Watermelon

There was a farmer who grew watermelons in his field. Unfortunately, his farm was close to a main road and he had constant problems with people stealing his watermelons during the night. He was determined to stop this and came up with a cunning idea.

In the middle of his watermelon patch, he placed a sign that read, “Warning! One of these watermelons has been injected with poison!”

The next day, the farmer came out to survey his field and was delighted to find that no watermelons had gone missing during the night. However, he noticed that at the bottom of his sign, someone had written, “Now there are two!”

Comments

  1. Animelover11 says

    My favorite ones that made me giggle hysterically was the new years massacre and slap slap slap. I usually don’t laugh that much.

  2. ICanDoBadAllByMyselfie says

    Operated:First let’s make sure he’s dead

    Man : (boom boom boom ) “he’s dead “

  3. Crystal says

    The Cemetery Gates and The Poisoned Watermelon ones were so funny! LMFAO! THEY’RE KILLING ME RIGHT NOW! HAHAHAHAHA!

  4. SlaughterDaughterFan says

    Seven Seven Seven is srsly just like the doll and her finges that like showed the number of ppl she had killed

  5. FAN OF SCARY FOR KIDS says

    In the new year’s massacre, they arrested a pair of scissors! LOL
    The person who created the picture on the top is very talented and creative!

  6. Creepyloverx says

    I literally JUST made sense of The Dog And The Ball LOL
    The man threw the ball over the balcony, and the dog followed it and ended up dying, so the man said to his girlfriend, “You know, your dog seemed a little depressed this evening………….” So that she would think her dog commited suicide. I think :p

  7. SweetBlood says

    Lol the watermelon one was awesome and the new years one was sooooooooo funny!! lol 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😃😃😃😃😏😏😏😏😏😆😆😂😂😂😂😍

  8. SuperScaryKitty says

    Oh the ice creams in the pic are so cute but that’s creepy how there licking the kids and then on kids head fell off…..

  9. VampirehunterKD says

    9.4 out of 10 ….. Worth reading…. !
    extra 1 points only for that pics …. Its awsome

  10. zombie_pegasister says

    the last one lol now he is not going to be able to eat any of them because he doesn’t know which one is poisoned

  11. GhostGirl1607 says

    OMG THAT PICTURE LOL THATS SO FUNNY hahaahhha and wow the watermelon and im the boss ones where SOOO FUNNY

  12. SuperFunGirl says

    Lol # 4 is kinda funny so…The hunters friend collapsed to the ground he was still and didnt breathe so he called the police or sumting like that..so then the operater answered and said well lets make sure he is REALLY DEAD the operator hears a gunshot*The hunter says ok nowwhat..so the hunter shootd the friend…

  13. XxXxyummycupcakesXxXx says

    @GroolingGrime-
    #7 was about when Ricky tells him that Bobby is going to die the next day,
    and #2 was about the police officer died from fright and he shot the newspaper, which he though it was a ghost. Hope that helped :)!

  14. Banana phone says

    lol the icecreams are eating us aaaahhhhh the people dont seem so worried r they dolls?

  15. Banana phone says

    lol that newspaper was a murderer poor policeman I thought the first one was really random but the rare book was funny lol he got conned by the shopkeeper I thought it would be really scary

  16. mathewlan13 says

    Explanation of 2:

    The policeman thought that the newspaper was a ghost and had a heart attack because of fright.

  17. screamoutloud says

    to all who didn’t get the 2nd one, the policeman die of fright cos he though the newpaper was ghost, also befoore that he shot it so…

  18. xX TO LIVE IS TO DIE Xx says

    The_Yellow_Dash, The man killed the dog accidentally, and he was afraid to tell the woman what happened, when the woman finds the dead dog she’ll think that it commited suicide, because of what the man said. Lol, that was long, hope I helped. :)

  19. soulserenade says

    @essence n2 is that the police man was actually shooting at a newspaper and maybe had a heart attack?

  20. queen of chills says

    #4 and #5 is the most funny and #2 the police officer thought the newspaper was a ghost because of the semetary so he died of fright

  21. KayKay says

    In #2 I think the guy died of a heart attack and the white thing he was shooting at was the newspaper.

  22. PinkGhostieGirl says

    I don’t understand how the policeman died in #2. Wow, #3, that would be FREAKY if I were the driver! #4 is hilarious. I’ve heard a variation on the last one. Oddly enough, the ice cream cone in the picture who lost his child’s head is cute…

  23. XxdeliciosscreamsxX says

    lmao! i looove da pic! lol lenthebanana. i loove 4 and 5, but mostly 5 :P

  24. reTARDIS says

    2- He shot a newspaper…
    3-No offense, but its really scary for the driver, driving a hearse can be really creepy..
    4-LOL! The boy got tricked! The price was just 1! 99 is for the cents. XD

  25. reTARDIS says

    lol! imagine ice creams eating us! the van’s title was “children”!! XD
    1st is awesome! like a boss!

  26. MySuperAwesomeUserName says

    @Xx Death Bolt xX: I think the guy was so scared of the thing that was coming at him that he had a heart attack, when in reality, it was only a newspaper XD

  27. imgianna says

    #1 is CRAZY! WTF…
    #2 is stupid. No offense. But it’s effing awkward.. Really… It is…
    #3 is… WAIT A MINUTE!! That’s fro. The Vampire Story thingy!! The one where the vampire kept telling the driver to go to East/West/South/North cemetery thingy… I remember that! I love that story!
    #4 is crazy dude.. That got me laughing like crazy… LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!! ahahahah!! I thought it would kill him. Wahaahaahahah!! I forgot… THIS IS FUNNY SECTION. Not Horror!!
    #5 is PANIC MODE!!!…. Waaaahhh!!!
    #6 is umm… I get it! He was counting how many people he killed but he kept saying it so that he won’t forget. Wudda eff? That’s kuh-ray-zee!! XD
    #7 is HILARIOUS! Hehe..
    4 & 7 are TH BEST! I like the picture too!  📷 

  28. MegIz says

    Lol 4 is so funny XD Well now he knows!

    JULY 1ST:

    Book owner found dead, clutching a book called, “Death.”

  29. Dragon Slayer says

    I have been having strange experiences in my room, First When I couldn’t sleep I saw a clouded figure, It touched my hand but it felt like nothing although I did have cold feeling. This other one enters my dreams though, He is my age and he is often seen recusing me and kissing me I heard footsteps out my window after waking up from these dreams in the middle of the night.

  30. killerkat101 says

    Lol love all this stories #5 was my favorite. I LOVE THE PICTURE !!!!!!!! :)

  31. dragongirl says

    @dimka
    the seller didnt want the boy to read the first page because it said how much the book was worth (only 1.99) and he sold it to him for $99

  32. dragongirl says

    lol number 4 was really funny and number 6 reminds me of the Manhole story with the girl doing the same thing

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