Funny Stories

Denko 5

In Denko Part 5, the intrepid stalker is confused and can’t make up his mind between the loves of his life. The funny and true story of a stalker and the girlfriend who wants nothing to do with him. Read the transcript, it’s hilarious. (OP means Original Poster and 2CH are the people replying to him.)

Denko

Denko part 5 – [Help!] I’m Not Sure Who I Like Anymore (´・ω・`)

#OP: Now, about Denko’s “boyfriend”… It turns out Denko doesn’t actually have a boyfriend… I’m seriously shocked that Denko would lie to me. Why would she do that? She shook my hand when we parted, so I don’t think she really hates me… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Sheesh, you can’t assume all that just from a handshake…

#2ch: Oh boy, the 600-email man again… So what happened after Denko went on the rampage and beat you up?

#2ch: ARREST HIM ALREADY.

#2ch: How’s that evil mastermind A-ko doing?

#OP: Actually, I’d rather you not say bad things about A-ko right now… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You were saying you didn’t trust A-ko before and now suddenly you’re her babysitter?

#OP: Sorry, I’ll give more details. I asked A-ko for some advice and she was harsh. She said I had a 10% chance of getting with Denko at best. Then I suddenly realized that maybe A-ko is jealous of me… Then it was so clear to me why A-ko was selling me information! Maybe she just wanted to talk to me all along? Once I had that thought, I started to see A-ko’s kindness and I realized my feelings were starting to shift toward A-ko a little… Does anyone have experience loving two people at the same time? I don’t know how to describe these feelings… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: What? What?

#2ch: The most outrageous misunderstanding of all time… So self-absorbed… Well, no point in telling us about it. Go confirm that A-ko likes you, OP.

#OP: I’m not that self-absorbed… I’m really worried… Maybe it’s because Denko carved out my heart that I’m being fooled into thinking I love A-ko? Of course, it’s also possible I could love two people… As long as they respond to my emails, I mean. But how should I ask her? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Ask her: “Do you like pee-pee in your poo-poo?”

#OP: What does that mean? I don’t think I want to ask that at all… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You won’t know until you try! Gotta live and learn!

#OP: Well, I sent her an email: “Do you like pee-pee in your poo-poo?”… But I’ve had some bad experiences thanks to some of your suggestions… If this makes her not like me, I’m really going to be stuck… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Good Lord!

#2ch: Send this: “A-ko, you gave me advice, right? You were harsh with me, saying I have a 10% chance with Denko at best. But I had this sudden thought. A-ko, could you possibly be jealous of Denko? If that’s the case, then I think I know why you wanted to contact me now. You just wanted to talk with me, didn’t you? Yes, it’s all coming together now. After realizing this, I’ve come to notice your kindness, A-ko, and I’ve noticed my feelings are shifting toward you. I love you too, A-ko. So could I ask your feelings…?

#2ch: Yeah, that’s good. Send that.

#OP: Wow, too late. She replied already! She just sent one word: “G☆R☆O☆S☆S”… She put stars in it, though. Is that good? Did I get through to her? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Sounds perfect.

#2ch: You got her for sure! You can do this! Go for it!

#OP: Hmmm… maybe she was confused by what I meant… Okay, I think I have this! I sent A-ko an email asking “You know what I mean?” Here we go… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: This is the perfect time to send that earlier suggestion!

#2ch: Perhaps it’s better that he targets A-ko, the girl who sells info about her friends, rather than the innocent Denko…

#OP: Now that I sent it, I’m really worrying what I’ll do if Denko confesses her love to me too… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: I wouldn’t worry about it.

#2ch: It’s fine. Neither of them will.

#2ch: SINCE THAT WON’T HAPPEN. Date them both!

#2ch: Look at you guys, mocking OP when he’s so close to getting his first date.

#OP: W-Whoa… Am I close? Really? This is making me excited… Can’t wait for A-ko to email me, oh man… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: We’ve entered a whole new world of Mr. Stalker’s misunderstandings…

#2ch: Girls like A-ko only date men for money, you know. She’s gonna need payment. Somewhere in the order of 500,000 yen.

#2ch: OP’s illness is getting worse. He must be off his meds. It’s dangerous to keep this up. Please, take your medication and tell your doctor about this.

#OP: SHE REPLIED!! She said: “So what are you saying? You want a date?”… Huh? Do I want to date A-ko…? I’m worried about Denko… If I date A-ko, then I won’t be able to date Denko, will I? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Whatever your choice, the result will be the same.

#2ch: She’s throwing all sorts of signs, moron! Don’t back away from this!

#2ch: Seems obvious to me. Three can play at this game.

#2ch: If things end with A-ko, you can go back and stalk Denko again. But for now, go with A-ko.

#2ch: Even if you’re rejected, you’ve still got Denko, OP! Tell her you wanna date! And girls love creepy, confused men, trust me.

#OP: Um… I just sent this… “Are you asking me for a date, A-ko?” (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Are you retarded? Never answer a question with a question.

#2ch: What? Are you kidding me? A-ko asks if you want to date her and you reply by asking if she wants to date you? Girls hate men like that!

#2ch: You never let us down, OP.

#OP: If A-ko says she wants to date, then I wonder if I’ll have to forget about Denko… I’m getting a little nervous… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Follow up with this: “I’m sorry. I was so shocked, I replied with a question instead. That’s just how it goes when I’m anxious about you, A-ko. So yes, please, go out with me.” I mean why didn’t you just say that to begin with???

#OP: Sorry, but what exactly was the problem with what I sent? I’m getting impatient over the lack of reply, though… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Because you replied with a question! When you could’ve just been a man and said “Yes, I want to date you!”

#2ch: There’s no problem! It’s perfect!

#OP: Thanks a lot, guys, now I’m worried I’m making big mistakes… I’m getting a little depressed here… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Next thread: [Help!] My Girlfriend Is Suing Me

#2ch: [Help!] Both of my Girlfriends are Suing Me

#2ch: [Help!] The Police Are Here

#2ch: [Help!] I’m Being Chased By My Girlfriend’s Friend

#OP: Got a reply! “If you say you want to date, then sure, we can date! ♥” Huh? Do I want to date A-ko??? What is this feeling…? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: What? What? What? WHAT IS THIS??????

#2ch: How… but…? CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2ch: Huh? What? What, what? Is this real life or is this just fantasy?????

#OP: Going to A-ko’s side right after I broke up with Denko would be really… I dunno… I don’t have any idea how to respond. Should we date? Won’t she think I’m fickle then? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: “Broke up”… YOU WERE NEVER DATING…

#OP: Sent this: “If you really want to, we could start dating now so we can get married later.” OK! I’ll forget about Denko if I have to…! Sniff… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Congrats, dude!

#2ch: So you can get… get married later… OMFG… You’re amazing, you know that…

#2ch: How old is OP?

#2ch: Just got into college… I think.

#2ch: Second year, actually.

#2ch: [Help!] We’re Dating, But I Can’t Forget My Old Girlfriend

#2ch: [Help!] I Had To Pay Her 3 Million Yen in Compensation

#OP: Got a reply from A-ko! That was quick! “I look forward to it too! *smile* I just want you to promise me three things: First, don’t tell anyone we’re dating. Second, I’m the one in charge here, and if you disagree, then this is all null and void. Third, as a general rule, you are forbidden from contacting me unless I contact you first. Can you uphold those three rules for me? ♥”… So yeah… Kinda strange how she doesn’t want me to contact her, huh? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: OMG, it’s like she wants you to sign a contract…

#2ch: Oh yeah, she’s totally after your money…

#2ch: She wants to have a monopoly on you! Isn’t that cute?

#2ch: Sounds like she’s stopping just short of saying “I will contact you whenever I need money, thanks! o(^▽^)o”

#2ch: [Help!] I Am A Personal ATM

#OP: Sent this: “Don’t you think it’s a little harsh saying I can’t contact you myself?” (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Be more forceful! See, this is why you’re a loser.

#OP: Thanks! You’re absolutely right! I’m feeling braver now! Sent this: “Never mind, I was just kidding! Let’s date!! I love you!!” (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Brave enough to become a slave, apparently…

#2ch: You need to have three conditions of your own: 1. Don’t date anyone but me. 2. Meet me at least once a week. 3. Don’t spend my money on anything.

#2ch: Hahaha, talk about an unfair deal!

#OP: I got a reply! She said: “Rule 3 states that you are forbidden from contacting me if I don’t contact you first. You just broke this rule. Gosh, do I need to say it twice? I’ll let you off with a warning this time, but be more careful from now on. *smile* So I guess that makes today our anniversary! ♥ Make sure you never, ever forget it!” (´・ω・`)

#2ch: A-ko is a pro.

#OP: Umm, she said not to tell anyone we were dating, but maybe I should let Denko know? I finally have a real girlfriend! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Not if you don’t pay her around 300,000 yen.

#2ch: Oh, you’re such a romantic. I tip my hat to you, sir. Girls fall head over heels for romantic types, so good luck!

#OP: All my knowledge about girls comes from manga and computer game dating sims, so I don’t know… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Don’t worry, those dating sim games are basically just reality in game form.

#OP: I got a shocking email from A-ko… “We can meet after school today! Oh, but one more thing I need to say. I want you to stay pure until we get married. I’m looking forward to my wedding night with you, since we’re leading up to marriage here. *smile* So no touchy-touchy until then, please! ♥” (´・ω・`)

#2ch: If you’re keeping your promises, you should really make sure she stays pure too.

#2ch: Yeah, definitely do this.

#OP: First time on a date with a real live girl… I’m nervous… My armpits are sweating… Spring is coming, and I’m sorry I’ve troubled you all with my problems. But I’m really grateful! Thanks!! I bet you can all get great girlfriends too!! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You really don’t think about anything but what’s convenient for you, do you… You’re sick, man, get help!

[Help!] I’m Deathly Confused By How Women Think (´・ω・`)

#OP: We just started dating, but I’m really surprised by the differences in how men and women think. I need to know the secrets of good dating… Like how to have good dates… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You… Are you the Denko guy?

#OP: Ah, uh, yes, you were all very helpful with Denko. (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Oh, it’s A-ko now, right… The master-slave relationship.

#2ch: Did you give up on Denko or what?

#OP: I wrote a letter and gave it to her! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: At any rate, you need to be close with your partner.

#OP: Hm… Is that the trick to a long relationship?

#2ch: How’s it going with A-ko? Well?

#OP: A lot of stuff happened… We had a serious dispute… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: First, tell us what’s not going well, and list what you don’t understand.

#OP: Men and women just seem to think so differently… So there’s a lot of stuff I’m worried about. (´・ω・`)

#2ch: How much did you pay to date A-ko?

#OP: She said she’d date me if I bought her 500,000 yen in clothes, but that’s a lot of money, so I negotiated it down to 350,000… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: How much have you paid A-ko in total?

#OP: I don’t know… Probably more than 700,000 yen?

#2ch: Once Denko learns of this situation with A-ko, she’s going to be jealous for sure. Since he put out 700,000 yen for her. Then her love for him will truly come out.

#OP: I talked with Denko in private about dating A-ko. I’m still a little in love with Denko, like… I thought I might be… happy in a way if she got jealous… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: If you spent 700,000 on A-ko, what was that extra 350,000 for?

#OP: Buying information about Denko, mostly… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: OP sure is something. If possible, can you tell us how things went?

#OP: Well the problem is, before the date, I sent A-ko an email… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Huh?? You sent her an email? But didn’t she forbid you from sending her emails??

#OP: Well, she hasn’t replied in four days, so I’m getting really worried… She’s my girlfriend, but I can’t contact her… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: What’s up with A-ko now?

#OP: I don’t know… I don’t get how girls think at all… (´・ω・`)

And then…

…nothing.

The OP never posted on the message board again. We may never know what happened to Denko and A-ko. Did the OP stop stalking them? Did it wind up happily ever after?

The first thread was started on April 6th, 2011, and the last post from the OP was on May 2nd, 2011.

Nobody knows whether the OP, Denko and A-ko are real people or if they are just figments of a diseased imagination. That’s up to you to decide. What do you think? Real or fake?

At any rate, this is the way the story ends. Not with a bang, but with a (´・ω・`)…



The Denko Series:
Denko 1 [Help!] The Girl I Like Won’t Respond to My Emails (´・ω・`)
Denko 2 [Help!] I Can’t Contact My Girlfriend (´・ω・`)
Denko 3 [Help!] The Girl I’m Dating Isn’t My Girlfriend Anymore (´・ω・`)
Denko 4 [Help!] My Girlfriend Is Testing Me (´・ω・`)
Denko 5 [Help!] I’m Not Sure Who I Like Anymore (´・ω・`)

54 Comments

  • It also reminds me of Call me maybe so I made up my own:
    Hey I just met you
    And I’m kinda crazy
    I know your number
    So please call me Denko!

  • I just finished this series. Loved it so much. I never would’ve pain that much to know about Denko. A-ok was basically a con woman! Loved the Denko series! I wonder what happened to OP…

  • Woah. So it’s not REAL from sure? This is creepy. So flippin’ weird……………

  • Poor kid… He had a bad luck on loving a woman… Maybe, now he started to love a man (OW SHIET)…

  • LOLOLOL This dude was funny!!!! But that A-Ko girl pissed me off because she was using him for money. This story could be real but it depends. Oh and this should be a anime, I’d watch it non-stop.

  • Oh My F God!
    it was hilarious
    if its real, I swear, I would have sent this OP to jail after 600 emails
    and if its fake, I really wanna know if this OP is in some mental institution by now… I mean… Damn! This series was something to got through!!

  • Finally finished the series. It kind of dragged on in between but was hilarious. Poor guy. Clever A Ko. Poor Denko. : )

  • Finally finished it. Kind of dragged on in between but was hilarious. Poor guy. Clever A Ko.
    Poor Denko.

  • oh BTW its my birthday tomorow! who lives in a pineapple under the sea? denko and her friends! obsorbent and yellow and sweaty is he? denko’s stalker! *skip the rest* denko’s stalker! denko’s stalker! denko’s stalker! DENKO’S STAAAAAAAALEEERRRRRR!

  • I sooo think it is real! I mean, if it was fake, how could he have made 5 series’ all about his so called “love life?”

  • BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH Did anyone notice what the picture says? DUDE! There are littlies reading this stuff!

  • ForeverGhostly, it wasn’t you. IKR. Cause the one to give him the sugar-hamster idea, some censored parts and in this part ‘Since that won’t happen’ and many other stuff were said by me. And yes, I used to use a comp. by my Japanese friend Kasumi then.

  • I don’t believe OP killed himself or anyone else. SFK most likely cut the original to make this kid-appropriate, but as Carcass said, in the full version OP and A-Ko apparently have unprotected relations. So it is believed that in the story OP gets A-Ko pregnant.

  • Agreed. I think he either… 1. Committed suicide or 2. Was arrested. Anyone else feel like this is part of the denko posts?

  • @Normandy hahahah no. It’s just krossfire31’s comment “maybe it was a behavioral study” gave me an idea to see how people would react to my comment :)

  • Hi guys just made an account .Awesum story but kinda funny n stupid nt at all scary n SFK pls post sumthin new read all the 5 parts of denko in a day

  • I’ve read the original one on Tumblr,OP and A-ko go into a hotel,and in Japan , hotels are commonly used for s*x . But A-ko went in there for 350,000¥(?) . So practically pointing out that A-ko is somewhat a prostitute. And of course a gold digger. On 4chan some users said they actually knew Denko in reality and said OP was lying about Denko kicking hims saying “Denko Isn’t pike that!” @3@

  • I’m pretty sure you did not write this, ForveverGhostly, you are only kidding around, right? Because this story was found on a Japanese message board and then it was translated by a Tumblr user, and found its fame across the Internet.

  • @foreverretarted kinda mine will take forever and then not load or it takes like 45 seconds to comment

  • This is hilarious!!!! But has this happened to anyone else? When I go to scaryforkids.com, it takes a while to load and it ends up saying “the server has stopped responding” and I have to wait up to a few hours before I can get back on the website. It’s not my Internet, I’ve tried this on multiple devices.

    Scaryforkids says: I think that was just today because the hosting was having some kind of problem. Should be fixed now.

  • Wow. I did not realize that my story would become an international hit……. Apologies guys. I was bored and I had a huge imagination at that time lol. It’s even a MEME. COOL. IM ANONYMOUSLY FAMOUS.

  • Possible scenarios for this story:
    1. Everything was a troll post.
    2. OP caught on to Ako and killed her.
    3. He got reported for stalking and got arrested.
    4. He committed suicide.
    5. Everything was his imagination.
    6. This was a behavioural study/research on how people respond to a given situation.

  • So, all of that happened in less than a month? Does anyone else think that’s a really short amount of time??

  • This was creepily funny. For the guy’s sake I hope these girls were real because it would be really awkward to buy a buttload of clothes for someone who didn’t exist.

  • Yay I”m fist again! And now I can finally say I finished the danko series! Forget my other comment in part 3!

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