Funny Stories

Denko 4

In Denko Part 4, our sad and desperate stalker touches his girlfriend inappropriately and suffers from bullying at school. The funny and true story of a stalker and the girlfriend who wants nothing to do with him. Read the transcript, it’s hilarious. (OP means Original Poster and 2CH are the people replying to him.)


Denko part 4 – [Help!] My Girlfriend Is Testing Me (´・ω・`)

#OP: I’m being tested by this girl I’m dating… How is a guy supposed to react to this kind of thing? Tell me, somebody… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Denko guy? Is that you?

#OP: Yes. I was successful in coming into contact with Denko on Friday, but a bunch of other things happened… First, I paid Denko’s friend 20,000 yen to make sure my plan went smoothly. I told her to ask Denko to go and buy alcohol. Then, finally, FINALLY, I saw Denko again! I didn’t want to startle her by suddenly calling out to her, so to display my passion as her boyfriend, I snuck up behind her and hugged her… (´・ω・`)

#OP: Denko’s body felt so warm… It might just have been the best moment of my life. I don’t think I’m ever going to wash my clothes again, so they always smell of her. Denko was surprised too and let out a really loud shriek and tried to run, but I wasn’t going to have that again! I grabbed her arm so she couldn’t get away, because I wanted her to stay so I could hear her true feelings… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: I’ve watched scenes like this in horror movies about serial killers…

#OP: Denko was really hollering, so her friends got worried. She said she was going home for the day and they all told me not to go near Denko again… I HOPE SHE REPLIES SOON (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Have you asked her how she felt after that?

#OP: Well, I’d rather have advice on how to do that than do something clumsy… That’s why I made a thread, so I could ask you guys… (´・ω・`)

#OP: Denko, you’ve been so much trouble to deal with… I’m exhausted. I want to talk it out with her, but I need help on how I should go about it… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Dear God, this guy is even more of a crazy than I thought.

#2ch: Poor, poor Denko… Are you still emailing her and pretending to be her friend?

#2ch: Seriously, why are you still not behind bars?

[Help!] I’m Being Bullied At School (´・ω・`)

#OP: I’m incredibly worried, honestly… I was bullied in grade school too, but this is just awful. Somebody, please help me… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Learn to enjoy pain and humiliation and all your worries will melt away.

#2ch: I can help. Give me the name of your school, your year, the bully’s name, phone number and anything else you know.


#2ch: What exactly do you want from us?

#OP: I want to know what I can do to not get bullied… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Tell us about your harassment, OP.

#OP: I was never bullied in my first year of college, but the bullying has started again… I just ignored it at first, but people are saying I’m creepy and telling me to die to my face. Most of the time, they pick on me by sprinkling me with toilet water. I’m afraid it’ll be like this my whole time in college… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: I can’t help but think there’s a reason.

#2ch: I’m honestly surprised they’d do that kind of bullying in college. That’s rough. In grade school, if you’re hurt or made fun of, you could always change schools, but college…? Is it possible you could avoid the bullies?

#OP: Thank you… More and more rumors are spreading about me and I’m being called names by people I don’t even know. I wish there were some way to stop the rumors… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Denko!

#OP: I was usually teased for having a timid personality, but it’s really rough getting bullied even after I’m in college… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Bullying in college…? Hahaha, something seems awfully familiar about this thread… The Denko guy???

#2ch: Getting bullied in college means it must be a pretty sucky college…

#2ch: You are the cause, OP.

#OP: Hey, even if there were a good reason, I shouldn’t have to put up with bullying at this age… I’ve been skipping school a lot out of fear… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Did you get to confess under the cherry blossoms?

#OP: Sorry, I meant to give some details about myself… I’ve never really written anything like this before, but, uh… Hair: Tackey-esque. Face: Normal. Clothes: I don’t know much about them, but I just wear ordinary pants and shirts. Height: 170 cm, pretty normal. Personality: Quiet (´・ω・`)

#2ch: I was bullied once. In my case, after a while, I didn’t give them any reaction. And then, soon enough, it stopped. I couldn’t make friends with them, but at least I could get them to not want to bully me. I don’t think it’s a very good idea to ditch school. You’re just feeding them by letting them get to you.

#OP: Really??? Even skipping school counts as a reaction, huh… What should I do… Deep down, I really just want to tell them to stop it!!… Although I can’t bring myself to say it in front of them anyway. Do I have to just put up with it for now? I do want to go to school, but it hurts… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: “Deep down, I really want to just tell them to stop it!!” Is that Denko speaking?

#2ch: No, you shouldn’t tell them “Stop it!” either. If you do, they’ll just want to bully you even more. That’s what they enjoy, and that’s why they do it. First, you want to act like “Oh, this again. They just don’t give up.” Make sure they don’t get any enjoyment out of it. It might take about two months for it to go away for good. By the way, what are these rumors? Where did they come from?

#OP: Oh… I see… No reaction at all… I don’t know if I can handle it, considering I was bullied in grade school too… But two months is better than forever, I suppose… It’s bad timing though, since I’m mentally exhausted after my girlfriend broke up with me… I don’t really want to talk about the rumors. I’m not sure what to say about them… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You don’t want to talk about it… Because you’re the cause of the rumors, right? If I’m wrong, just tell us, so we can give you more useful advice.

#2ch: This is the Denko guy?

#2ch: Denko’s boyfriend. You can tell by the stupid emoticon.

#2ch: Thought so. He’s as bad at listening to people as ever.


#2ch: It’s not like they were dating to begin with.

#2ch: This guy’s a college student? Really?? He sounds like a middle-schooler at best.

#OP: If I mentioned Denko right away, no one would reply honestly… So I just wanted to ask about the bullying… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: LOL, the Denko guy… Geez, I’m curious about what happened with her.

#OP: Can we just have a conversation here? I don’t have any friends, so if I can’t even talk here, I’m gonna feel really defeated… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Okay, dude, listen. Listen. LISTEN. The previous threads were all about Denko and all that stuff, right? And you talked about her plenty in them, but not here.
If you didn’t want Denko to come up here, then why the thread title? It’s completely obvious you’re the same guy.

#OP: It’s a very delicate situation, so even a single word could hurt matters… Why does everyone want to talk about Denko and not about me? I’m not really in a situation where I can talk about her anyway… See how everyone attacks me… I’ve noticed that whenever I talk about Denko, I get unpleasant responses. So please consider that I’m very hurt right now and don’t want to talk about it… (´・ω・`)

#OP: Back to the bullying… I don’t want to do what’s being recommended… I want to know a more peaceful method, because I can’t put up with this for two months… If only things could go back to normal in a day… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: What about Denko? She’s been hurt far, far worse.

#2ch: Give it to us clearly, okay?

#OP: Sorry, I’ll write some… It really does put me at ease when I make posts here… I want to live in peace. I haven’t been sleeping well lately… Why do I have to put up with a life of being bullied? I don’t know why, but I know I have to face it somehow… And I want the people bullying me to know they’re being silly. (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You might be criticized when you talk about Denko, but some people won’t give you any advice if you refuse to talk about her. Just understand that.

#2ch: If you don’t like the environment at school, look for something new. Absorb yourself in a hobby or go somewhere where the rumors won’t reach you and do what you want to do.

#OP: Thanks for the serious reply! Not giving any reaction is really hard… I might have done so without even realizing it. Do you think things would settle down by themselves if I didn’t go to school for two months? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused Tendou? You need to apologize to her for everything, NOW.

#OP: Huh? You know Denko’s nickname? Are you from school? How do you know the nickname Tendou? If you’re an acquaintance of hers, I want her to reply… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: This isn’t any time for you to be interrogating me, you creep. An angry loner like you never considers other people’s feelings and the way you pushed yourself on her was the worst of the worst. If you don’t understand that, then you’re beyond all help.

#2ch: Could you tell us more details about what happened at the cherry blossom meeting, if possible?


#2ch: Eep…

#2ch: Oh sweet Jesus. You know he’ll do it, too.

#2ch: O.O I peed a little…

#2ch: There was no (´・ω・`)… GUYS, HE’S SERIOUS!!!

#OP: Do you really know Denko? If you really know her, tell me what she was wearing to the flower-viewing! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Say, if Denko filed a stalker report, is it likely this guy would get arrested?

#2ch: Very likely. If the cops don’t arrest this guy, then law enforcement is a joke when it comes to stalking.

#2ch: This would all be seriously traumatic to almost any girl, especially a fragile one like Denko. OP still doesn’t seem to understand the ramifications of his actions. Maybe we should get a hold of people nearby to file a complaint for Denko.

#2ch: So in short, OP stalked Denko and is getting bullied for it, but is acting like he’s the victim?

#2ch: Yes sir. You are correct.

#OP: I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I do know karate. I really don’t like violence… But this might be my chance to overcome my traumas… It’s this or put up with it for two months… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Where are you getting two months from?

#OP: I was advised here that if I endured it for two months, it would go away. (´・ω・`)

#2ch: What’re your plans for today, OP?

#OP: Wondering if I should go to school or not… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Why can’t you tell us a straight cause for the bullying? Are you just going to keep being vague and saying “rumors”??

#2ch: So, she didn’t like the thing at the flower-viewing, did she?

#OP: Apparently not… I can’t take any more wounds. Just seeing Denko makes me feel like my heart is being carved out of my chest… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Hey, stop making fun of OP, okay!! Can you say everything you want to talk about, OP? About the cause for bullying, about the rumors you haven’t specified, about Denko… We’ll talk it all out with you. Okay?

#OP: Sniff… Thank you… I’m glad there’s a few good people here… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You goddamn… Were you threatening Denko with violence? Guys like you who threaten women… You’re the worst. What a waste of space. It’s obvious why you’re being bullied.

#OP: WHAT? I WASN’T THREATENING HER! I just grabbed her, okay? If you’re that guy from school, please don’t talk about this anymore… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You got in an argument with Denko, grabbed her arm and groped her. You’re a piece of crap is what you are.

#2ch: Hooray for Denko’s friend!

#OP: Whoa, wait, I let go right away… I didn’t grope her! Everyone, please, don’t let this person lead you astray. (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Do you honestly think you’re convincing anyone at this point?

#2ch: You damn liar! Don’t use your stupid-ass emoticon with me! You gonna do something about that attitude problem?!?

#2ch: Hear it from me, guys. This guy says he’s being bullied in college, but in reality he’s a sack of S- who Denko loathes for chasing her around, and he sees the situation as him being goddamn bullied. He’s the epitome of creepy stalkers.

#OP: If I talk more about the flower-viewing, it’ll agitate the situation! All your name-calling is really hurting me… I want you to promise you won’t make fun of me. It’s a really delicate situation, so I don’t want things to get worse, or I’ll go nuts… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: LOL. Too late.

#2ch: Don’t be ridiculous. You don’t want to “agitate” things by talking about the flower-viewing? There’s nothing more that needs to be said! You’re just going to be a little S-HEAD who won’t apologize to Denko. Don’t ever go near her again!

#2ch: Whoa, calm down. Can you tell us if something happened? There’s no sense in getting angry.

#OP: Wow, everyone’s so nice… I’ve never had so many people be this nice to me before… I’m so glad there are so many people supporting me… (´・ω・`)

#OP: I’ll tell you what happened. After all that stuff, I got a call from Denko’s friend, “A-ko,” to say she was headed to the Park as planned. But the park is pretty big and I couldn’t find the place she told me to go to. All she told me was that it was a hilly place in the park… Eventually, I managed to find the place and of course Denko was there. I watched through a telescope and waited for a chance when she wouldn’t see me. I thought A-ko was going to have Denko go to the store, but she suddenly said she wouldn’t do it unless I paid an additional 30,000 yen. So of course I promised I’d pay 30,000 more and she sent Denko to the store alone. There was a road for bikes near where Denko was, but Denko looked toward me for some reason and I unconsciously got down on the ground… (´・ω・`)

#OP: So then Denko found me on the cycling road. She looked back my way once or twice. Then she ran with incredible speed toward me while I was squatting! And I thought “Huh? Maybe I’ve cleared up the misunderstandings?”, stood up immediately, and waved at Denko as she ran toward me… (´・ω・`)

[Help!] I’m Suffering From These Rumors (´・ω・`)

#OP: So I was waving at Denko and waiting for her to come my way. But then Denko threw her bag at me really hard, and I ducked to dodge it. But in the next moment, Denko screamed and kicked me right in the chin. It was so unlike her, it absolutely stunned me… I never would have dreamed I’d get kicked by Denko. So I quickly grabbed Denko’s hand to stop her rampage. Right? Since it was just a misunderstanding? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Denko has had a whole lot of stress building up… I’m not surprised she’d get violent, no matter what you said to her.

#2ch: Then what? What about A-ko? And everyone else involved?

#2ch: Holy S- Denko! We’re proud of you, girl! I’d been imagining her as a weakling since all we know is she’s being stalked, but damn was I wrong…

#2ch: Is it possible the friend who showed up earlier in the thread was A-ko? They had details on the flower-viewing incident, too.

#2ch: If it was A-ko, it seems weird that she’d say “What did you do to Denko?”, doesn’t it? Since A-ko is selling info to the OP. The part about “threatening with violence,” too, since Denko beat up on OP. Maybe A-ko is the final boss? Like in an RPG?

#OP: Denko was getting violent and I grabbed her hand, but she screamed really loud. I immediately thought, oh no, she misunderstood me again, so I got on the ground and started apologizing. I think it got through to Denko, because then she broke down crying. But then A-ko (the one who gave me info on Denko) came with some other girl I don’t know, and they suddenly pushed us apart… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: I’m serious, stop posting your delusional lies! People, don’t believe a word this guy says about what happened today!

#2ch: Well, I believe him more than you, since there’s actually something TO believe. Is this A-ko?

#2ch: I’ve heard all of OP’s story, so I want to hear this person’s too, but there’s one thing I want to ask: What do you think about A-ko selling info to OP despite knowing Denko despises him?

#2ch: I don’t believe it. It’s just a fabrication by the OP! And Denko would never get violent! This guy is seriously messed in the head!

#2ch: Stop getting so emotional about this, okay? Why else would OP know the time, place, and so on of the flower-viewing? And the changed email addresses and phone numbers? It’s probably why he got busted in the first place. I know lots of women tend to dodge questions like this, but doing this is just being pointlessly cruel to Delico, okay?

#2ch: DELICO?

#2ch: Delico????? Who’s Delico????? LOL


#OP: So they shouted at me, calling me a weirdo… And even A-ko told me “Don’t get any closer to Denko!” It’s not something I expected at all… It made me cry from shock… And when Denko asked what I want from her, I was sobbing and saying I just want us two to talk! Then it was silent for a while, and Denko said that as long as A-ko and her other friend were watching, she would listen. And then I realized… Right! I had to confess my love under the cherry blossoms! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: This guy is really something if he thinks “I should confess my love!” after all that.

#OP: So then I led Denko under a cherry blossom within sight of A-ko and the mystery girl. Then I casually pushed Denko from behind under the tree. I wanted to talk about my feelings and how Denko was misunderstanding me. Of course, I was thinking of all these things to say to lead up to confessing my feelings to Denko. I was sweating so much, it was getting in my eyes, so Denko gave me a handkerchief. But the next moment, before I could confess, Denko suddenly said, “There’s someone I like and I’m sorry, but it isn’t you.” It was so out of left field, like I had been suddenly hit with a baseball bat… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Whoa, man, that’s rough. What happened next?

#OP: Thank you… It was such a rough day, I didn’t even eat… Denko told me, “If you’re really thinking about me, please, consider how I feel.” So I was glad to hear that Denko knew I thought about her more than anything else. But I really despised this guy that Denko liked… (I’ll have to get info on him from A-ko…) I never considered for a second Denko would care for anyone but me, so it was a huge shock. Denko shook my hand and made me promise not to come near her again. Then we went home… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Keep that goddamn promise…

#2ch: DUDE RUN!

#2ch: Have you told Denko how you’re so devoted to her that you’re paying A-ko to find out more info about her?? I mean, if I were a girl, I’d be moved to tears by that.

#OP: A-ko is still giving me info about Denko. If I cut things off with A-ko, I’d be really stuck… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: I thought you said you didn’t fully trust A-ko? Why’s OP being so careful with A-ko?


#2ch: But… that’s true… ROFL

#2ch: I really don’t know how any parent could raise a kid this F-ed up in the head.

The story continues in Denko Part 5

The Denko Series:
Denko 1 [Help!] The Girl I Like Won’t Respond to My Emails (´・ω・`)
Denko 2 [Help!] I Can’t Contact My Girlfriend (´・ω・`)
Denko 3 [Help!] The Girl I’m Dating Isn’t My Girlfriend Anymore (´・ω・`)
Denko 4 [Help!] My Girlfriend Is Testing Me (´・ω・`)
Denko 5 [Help!] I’m Not Sure Who I Like Anymore (´・ω・`)


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