Funny Stories

Denko 2

In Denko Part 2, the saga continues. The funny and true story of a stalker and the girlfriend who wants nothing to do with him. Read the transcript, it’s hilarious. (OP means Original Poster and 2CH are the people replying to him.)

Denko

Denko part 2 – [Help!] I Can’t Contact My Girlfriend (´・ω・`)

#OP: I don’t have any romantic experience, so I’m not too sure, but this girl I just started dating yesterday emailed me and told me not to email her. And now I can’t get a hold of her. What do you think it could be? Was there an incident? Is she fickle? Did she have an accident? Is she testing me? Like I said, I’m not experienced, so please give me advice. (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Are you sure you were dating to begin with?

#OP: No, we are definitely dating! I’ve been in the same class as her since high school and we went to the same college and became friends over email. And just yesterday we started dating! I’ve never been on a date with a girl before, so I’m not sure what to think… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: First things first, shoot her some emails. About 600 should be good.

#2ch: DON’T EMAIL HER!!!

#2ch: Um, just wondering… is this “girlfriend” little more than a figment of your imagination?

#OP: Well, I confessed my love to her and she said “sure,” but right afterward she sent me an email saying not to email her. Even I don’t fully understand the situation… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Yeah, you’re a stalker. She only unwillingly said yes because she was terrified of you.

#OP: I’VE ONLY SENT 70 EMAILS SO FAR. I had plans to call her yesterday, so I’m just confused… Maybe I should call her house? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Getting 70 emails in a day from somebody I don’t like would bring me to gross sobbing.

#2ch: ARE YOU THE 600-EMAIL GUY FROM YESTERDAY?

#2ch: Somebody explain what happened yesterday.

#2ch: OP emailed Denko a ton. She didn’t reply, so he confessed his love. Right after, Denko replied “sure.” But it was apparently a reply to an email he sent before the confession, and afterwards he got an email saying “don’t email me anymore.” And yet, in OP’s mind, Denko is already his girlfriend.

#2ch: Are you for real? If I was Denko, I would be horrified and depressed. Who has the time to reply to that many emails? Think about her feelings, you creep.

#OP: Other than never being with a girl before, I’m a relatively ordinary guy. Is there any way to force her to contact me? I went to her house and talked with her mother and she said she’d call me once Denko came home. But since she didn’t call, it seems like Denko still isn’t home… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Ordinary guys don’t send 600 emails in three days when there’s no reply…

#OP: I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT, OKAY. I realized it was a bit excessive after you all told me so… I’ve only sent 70 emails so far and if you do the math, that’s just one every ten minutes, so I think I’m good… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Denko’s probably crying her eyes out.

#2ch: I don’t think she said “sure” to the confession. Who would say “sure” to that?

#OP: I’m waiting at a cafe near her house to see if she passes by, but I haven’t seen her. It’s in front of the train station, so she must take this route when she goes to school… I just want to know the truth in this unclear situation… I like her so much, but I feel like I’ve been betrayed… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: This just makes me feel terrible. I feel so sorry for that girl.

#2ch: Sorry, but I wasn’t joking. YOU ARE A HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING CREEP.

#OP: Come on, guys, stop calling me creepy! I know you like to joke around, but I’m heartbroken here. Please take it seriously… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You’re too self-conscious. Try a little harder and she’ll see your love.

#OP: What do you guys do when you fight with your girlfriends? I’d like to know for reference… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Have you tried waiting in front of her house? Make sure to hide so no one sees you.

#OP: Of course I thought about doing that, but I decided against it. That’s too stalkery. So I decided to sit in a cafe and watch for her instead… No matter what road she takes, she has to pass by here, so she can’t go anywhere without me seeing her. (´・ω・`)

#2ch: And you think sending 600 emails in a couple days isn’t stalkery…

#2ch: Well, I’m a girl… Did you actually have a fight? Some girls will get mad and say “I’m mad! Don’t email me!”, so she might be indirectly telling you she’s mad.

#OP: I figured she might be mad… Do girls sometimes fake being mad to see if their boyfriends really love them? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: He says his older brother is a former actor, FYI. Assuming he’s not just making that up, I deeply pity that man… Soon enough, he is going to have to apologize to the world for his younger brother’s crimes.

#OP: I SAID I’M NOT A STALKER! Haven’t any of you ever waited for a girl you’re not dating? And a husband who waits for his wife at the station isn’t a stalker, is he? When I meet her, I think it might be best not to harshly question her or get mad, but just to calmly embrace her… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Man! She’s totally waiting for you to come meet her! She doesn’t want you to email her or call her, so that means she wants to see you in person! She’s testing you for sure. Take up her challenge!

#OP: I guess you’re right. I’ll try going to her house! Thanks for the advice! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: ROFL. Even if you’re lovers, stalking is stalking! If a boyfriend or girlfriend gets stalkery, the other one will want to break up…

#OP: Well, actually, now that I think about it… I’m kind of fifty-fifty on going or not going… I’ve been sort of panicking since yesterday, so I can’t tell which is the right thing to do. If I’m really a stalker like you say, then what will happen to my relationship with Denko? I’m scared… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Is there even a “relationship” between you? Or is it just a lot of her hating you?

#2ch: Ignore these dumbass trolls who say you’re not dating and that you’re a stalker. That’s just the kind of tripe you get on this message board. Send her another 50 emails, buddy.

#2ch: You should go! She’s just being shy.

#OP: Okay, I made the trip! It looks like I’m not going to get everything cleared up unless I meet her in person. I’m at her house now. Going to ring the doorbell… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: If she doesn’t want to say anything mean to you, then maybe I’ll just have to. GET AWAY FROM HER NOW. Ugh. Christ.

#OP: I rang the doorbell, but nobody showed answered. I realized it might be possible her mom was out and she was in the bath. And we haven’t kissed yet, so seeing her naked already would probably be rude… Plus I concluded that she might come out in a bathrobe and I’ve never seen a girl like that before, so I might get tongue-tied and not be able to talk well. So finally, I thought I’d just leave a note in the mailbox. I bought some paper at the store and I’m thinking about what to write… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: If you’re writing a letter, you better include a bouquet of flowers with it.

#2ch: A long time ago, I got my girlfriend mad over a little thing, and just like OP, she yelled at me and told me not to contact her. So I went straight to her house, apologized sincerely, hugged her, and patted her head. After that, we had a good meal, drank at a fancy bar, and everything was just dandy. First things first, hug her and pat her head, and make sure to apologize. Good luck, Mr. Boyfriend!

#OP: I GOT AN EMAIL FROM DENKO BUT I’M TOO SCARED TO OPEN IT. What if she says she’s breaking up with me? My hands are trembling at the negative things it could be… (´・ω・`)

#OP: She wrote: “Were you at my house?” Does this mean she was in the bath and couldn’t come to the door? Then was I wise to look into the house, but avoid the bathroom in case things went awry? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Come on, lover boy, you’re lovers! Tell Denko you just dropped by to see her smoking hot bod. Gotta have humor in a lasting relationship, man.

#2ch: You’re hiding in your house, Denko…? You poor thing… I hope she has a friend to stay beside her…

#2ch: Send her this: “I was worried that I couldn’t contact you, my beloved Denko. Since we’re dating now, I just wanted to see your face, you know? Well, I’m still very close by, so can we stick together today?” Go with that. You’ve got to be natural when you’re inviting her on a date. Flow like water.

#OP: Thanks! My brain doesn’t work when I’m panicking like this, so that’s a big help. I’ll send that. You know, I rang the doorbell a bunch of times thinking Denko wasn’t there… Do you think she thinks I’m rude? (´・ω・`)

#2ch: You’re done, dude.

#2ch: Mashing the doorbell, dear god… I can’t take it.

#2ch: Signs every message with a stupid emoticon… Doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing… Ignores actually useful replies… Sounds like a dumbass… This guy pisses me off.

#OP: Waiting for her reply for now. Romance makes for a rollercoaster of emotions… I’ve never had such huge shifts in feelings before. You’re the only real people I can talk with since I don’t have friends, but I’m glad I have you. Thanks to those who are supporting me and giving advice… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: I’m seriously scared right now…

#OP: I’m on my way back to Denko’s house. Since I got an email from her, I figure she must be out of the bath by now… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Eep…

#OP: Sorry, I needed time to figure out the situation… I went to Denko’s house and rang the doorbell again. Denko’s mom came out. She said, “If you come by again, I’ll call the police!” Which of these do you think it could be?

A: Denko’s mother is opposed to me and Denko going out.
B: Her mother misinterprets me as being a stalker.
C: She’s mad about me ringing the doorbell a bunch of times earlier.

Those are the three possibilities I can think of… I’m still kind of shocked… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Or D: Denko has you pinned as a stalker. If she’s as cute as you say, she must have a boyfriend. You gotta embrace her as hard as you can to relieve her.

#2ch: Better email Denko to make sure.

#2ch: Don’t you already know, deep down inside? Little Denko’s just being shy! Her mother must be just misunderstanding why she’s sitting red-faced in her room… Explain it to her and she’ll surely understand!

#2ch: D: Her mom isn’t misunderstanding, you ARE a stalker. Because… you know… You are.

#OP: For now, I’m calling Denko’s cellphone. If I don’t talk to her soon, there are only going to be more misunderstandings. If she thinks I’m weird too, I’m going to feel terrible… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: uuuggGGGHHHH WHY DO YOU NOT REALIZE YOU WERE DONE AFTER SENDING HER 600 EMAILS????????

#OP: I can’t stop crying over how miserable I am… I’m crying looking into the computer screen, but still thinking about passersby giving me weird looks, which makes me cry even more… Love really is hard… (´・ω・`)

#OP: I think crying it all out helped. Thinking about it, Denko hasn’t said anything to me directly. So it’s her mother who’s acting shady… But if she calls the police, my life is over, so I need a way to meet Denko without involving her mom… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Stake out her house and sneak into the back yard. If Denko comes to the window, knock on it and you’re good.

#OP: I don’t want to take unnecessary risks. Really, waiting in front of the train station is best, but something romantic like what the guy above me said might be good… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: It’s like goddamn Romeo and Juliet, man. You can even throw rocks at her window if Denko’s room is on the second floor.

#OP: I’m going to go check Denko’s house! Bye! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Don’t tell me OP got arrested… was he? POLICE END. I knew it.

#2ch: Get out of jail soon, OP! I look forward to your next project!

#OP: I went to her house and looked for Denko’s room. I saw a curtain move inside, so I peeked behind it and met eyes with Denko. Then she immediately screamed “MOM!!” and I got scared and instinctively fled. So yeah, I’m back at home now… (´;ω;`)

#2ch: Damn, dude, you’re done. Give yourself up.

#2ch: Man, why did you RUN? Think about how SHE feels!

#OP: Isn’t it awful? I just don’t get it… Why am I being played with? Why does the person most important to me have to trample on my feelings? I know that all her feelings must have turned to hate now… She’s really getting upset with me… I punched a wall really hard and now my hand hurts too… This is the worst feeling… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: If I were you, I’d go back and make sure to talk with her. Better yet, give her a letter written in your own blood. If you write in your own blood, she’ll know it’s true.

#2ch: Now THAT’s romantic.

#OP: Denko wrote another email: “Don’t call me or email me anymore, please. I’m sorry, but I’m really, really scared. If there’s been a misunderstanding, then I apologize. But this is my last email. Please don’t contact me again, I’m begging you.”

What does this mean…? I’ve been thinking about it for a good while now and I’m just not sure… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: It means “DON’T CONTACT ME EVER AGAIN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.”

#2ch: Her mother is a wicked woman. She’s impersonating Denko. Don’t be fooled, OP.

#2ch: You’re only banned from phone calls and emails. Do you have a carrier pigeon?

#2ch: “Don’t call me or email me anymore, please” means, in short, don’t associate with her. “I’m sorry, but I’m really, really scared” means she’s afraid of the things you’re doing. “If there’s been a misunderstanding, then I apologize” means you apparently think Denko likes you, but she doesn’t like you at all.

#2ch: You’re being tested, OP. Are you really going to give up now? Is this truly the extent of your love?

#2ch: OP’s love is so pure, I don’t think I could possibly imitate it.

#2ch: I’m guessing this is what the OP thinks:

Don’t call me or email me anymore, please = She wants to meet me in person!
I’m sorry, but I’m really, really scared = Denko must be in danger… I’ve got to help her!
If there’s been a misunderstanding, then I apologize = We’ve repaired our friendship. Now we’ll always be together!
But this is my last email. Please don’t contact me again, I’m begging you = Yep, definitely wants to meet in person!

#2ch: Terrifyingly accurate…

#OP: My mind is a blank. What does Denko want to become of our relationship? I want to meet her face to face, but… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: Go turn yourself in to the police, OP.

#2ch: This has taught me a lot about the mentality of a stalker.

#OP: I AM SO AFRAID OF DENKO REJECTING ME. I’m trying to think of an email to send Denko, but my mind’s been a blank. At this point, I’m not sure if it’s possible to get the happy end that everyone wants… (´・ω・`)

#2ch: The happy end that… everyone… wants…? What planet does this kid live on?

#2ch: Uh. What everyone wants is OP BEHIND BARS!!

#2ch: What everyone wants is Denko’s safety. Just leave Denko alone. She must be so confused…

#2ch: Don’t send anything. If you see her at school, tell her you’re really sorry for troubling her! Okay?!

#OP: All you guys hating on me is getting annoying… I’m afraid I might be brainwashed by these negative messages… I’m going to ignore your opinions and write an email with my heartfelt feelings! (´・ω・`)

#2ch: If you like Denko, then don’t send it. I’m serious. Stop giving her reasons to despise you!

#2ch: And he doesn’t even know why he was bullied in school.

#OP: Well, I sent this: “Dear Denko, this is how I feel. I’m sorry for making you worry. I would never consider killing or abusing you, Denko, so don’t worry. Is that what you thought I would do? Now, I want you to take what I’m saying seriously. I really, truly love you, Denko. I think I would be willing to die for you, Denko. I’ve always been trying to ensure your happiness first. And I don’t think my feelings for you will ever change. It’s very unfortunate things got like this right after we started dating, but we can start over. That would be great, wouldn’t it? Remember what I said when I confessed my love to you? I still feel the way I did back then…” (´・ω・`)

#2ch: PERFECTION.

#2ch: Oh christ, that first part will give me nightmares. It’s horrifying that you can even THINK of that! Speaking as a girl, I would absolutely call the police if I got this.

#OP: If there’s any further developments, I’ll make another thread. Still waiting for Denko to reply now. Thanks for everyone who’s given support! Keep watching over us as we work toward happiness!! Thank you! I’m so grateful! (´・ω・`)

The story continues in Denko Part 3



The Denko Series:
Denko 1 [Help!] The Girl I Like Won’t Respond to My Emails (´・ω・`)
Denko 2 [Help!] I Can’t Contact My Girlfriend (´・ω・`)
Denko 3 [Help!] The Girl I’m Dating Isn’t My Girlfriend Anymore (´・ω・`)
Denko 4 [Help!] My Girlfriend Is Testing Me (´・ω・`)
Denko 5 [Help!] I’m Not Sure Who I Like Anymore (´・ω・`)

14 Comments

  • Now I kinda get stalkers side of the story not just the victims, I guess stalking can mostly come from sexual feelings for another person or they can just be a psycho I guess. But i feel it deeply comes in when someone is feeling lonely or wants some affection but idk rlly

  • if u read through u’ll notice the people who “supports” him actually is making fun of him and destroying him..typical bullies..

  • OP you are dumb that girl hates you you are a creepy creepy creepy creepy stalker. No wonder she hates you. Get a life!!!!

  • @Rawwr12321 it is not supposed to be scary to us…its supposed to be funny. It could also teach the mentability of a stalker. You do realize that these are true correct? I mean, just imagine if you were Denko… how would you feel if someone emailed you over 600 times, and just would not leave you alone no matter what you did…anyway if I were Denko…I would get a new phone number, new email, quit my job, pack my bags, and get the heck out of there and into a state far away…

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