Crimson

Crimson is a story submitted by a user on this website named Megiz. It’s about a young girl named Crimson Rose who receives a strange package when she is left home alone one night.

Crimson

Crimson Rose woke with a silent yawn. She blinked a couple of times and rubbed her eyes. She looked at her digital alarm clock that sat next to her on the wooden nightstand. It was midnight.

Her mother had gone to a dinner party that evening. She should have returned by now. She looked out the window, but there was no sign of her mother’s car. Crimson sighed and shut the curtains. She lay down on her bed and closed her eyes.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Assuming it was her parents, she opened the front door. Crimson found a large package. She took it inside, locked the door, and sat in the living room. She opened the box. Inside, was a small note. In very bad handwriting, were the words:

Hello Crimson. I watched you today. You were very pretty.

Crimson was creeped out. She threw the note away and shuddered. She had the feeling that someone was watching her. Crimson simply shook it off. She got back to bed and fell asleep quickly.

The water was icy cold. Crimson looked at the shower knobs. The knob for hot was turned halfway—the water shoud’ve been warm. She wondered where the hot water went.

She climbed out of the shower and wrapped a cozy purple towel around her nude body. She wiped the steam away from the mirror and looked at herself. Her eyes were dark and tired, haunting. Her olive colored skin was now pale as paper.

Crimson wondered how she had gotten to looking this bad. She had been having nightmares about the person who had given her the note—they were terrifying.

She sniffed and quickly rubbed lotion all over her body. She put on some grey daisy dukes and a white T-shirt with a stunning V-neck line.

She turned off the bathroom light, pitching her into darkness. She tried to open the tall white door but it wouldn’t budge open. It was jammed.

She turned the lights on. They quickly shorted out, pitching her into darkness again. Crimson sighed in frustration and tried to open the door again—it opened. She was wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Someone was in the house.

Her heart pounding, Crimson walked outside to the cable box. She opened it up, and saw all the switches were off. Water, light—everything. She then noticed a note on top of the box. She read it:

Hey, BooBoo! Meet me @ School 2nite. See you there, Dean.

Crimson smiled and held the note in her hand. She turned all the switches on and went back inside. She started getting ready for whatever Dean had in store for them. She could barely contain her excitement.

After she was done getting ready. Her platinum blonde hair was curled in tiny curls, her make-up done pefectly right, her mascara bringing out her icy blue eyes. She flattened down her short-cut dazzling red dress, checked her white teeth and finally when she was convinced she looked perfect, she left her house and headed to school.

When she arrived, candles illuminated the outside of the school and the inside. The lights—inside and out—had been turned off. How romantic.

Rose petals led to the door, in her favorite color, crimson. She smiled and got out of her car. When she reached the door, she noticed a red liquid on the floor. It looked like blood. The trail led her to English class. She opened the door.

Inside, all was quiet. She knew Dean was hiding in the closet. She quietly tip-toed to the closet, and quickly opened it. Inside, to her horror, was Dean’s body. In his hands were crimson colored roses. He had been beheaded.

She heard laughter behind her. She slowly turned around and saw a large, burly man holding a large kitchen knife. He had a big, black bushy beard and broad features. His long hair was tangled in knots, and his nose was crooked a slight bit. He had nasty yellow teeth and foul breath.

Crimson immediately reconized the man.

“D-Daddy?” Crimson whispered. She managed to get the words off her tounge. She had always seen pictures of him around the house. He had left Crimson’s mother when Crimson was three.

Her mother told tales of him as a lumberjack. He had left one night and never came back. But now he was here, standing before Crimson.

The man smiled evilly and low laughter left his mouth. “Crimson, you’re right. Look at you, baby girl. You’re so pretty.”

Crimson was terrified. Her father was about to kill her!

“Please, stop! Dad, please,” Crimson begged. She had tears in her pleading eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Her father chuckled, wiping away her tears. “But it has to be this way.”

He raised his knife and plunged it deep into her chest. A faint gurgle escaped her lips before she fell to the ground, the knife still stuck in her chest. Crimson colored blood trickled down her chin. It looked beautiful against her pale skin.

The man received the large knife and licked the blood off of it and left.

Later that night, there was a newsflash on TV.

“Dean Haddonfield and Crimson Rose have been found dead in a Northwest high school. Dean was beheaded and Crimson was stabbed. They were both pronounced dead at the scene. A message was left on the wall in blood: READ THIS BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS. Officials don’t know what this means—” Just then, the disembodied head of Dean dropped down on the news anchor.

(Megiz says: Okay, I really hope you guys like this one. Please comment, it means a lot)

Comments

  1. KillThemAll says

    Megiz, you did really good. But, you could have shortened it a bit. It would’ve still been good. But, the story was also confusing. How can cold water make steam on the mirror? Only hot water can do that…
    Overall, your story was good. Just don’t put a whole lot of details.

  2. Shadow_of_Darkness says

    Too confusing… :/ It wasn’t the best you could have done, MegIz. I’ve seen better. And plus, your stories are overly descriptive, but the plots never make sense. Sometimes even the DETAILS mess it up. :/

  3. scarykid1413 says

    Not scary but good…plus ur stories are too descriptive…how the frick does blood look beautiful? Its stupid…plus did blood trickle DOWN her chin when she got stabbed in the chest? Other than that it was okay

  4. Try And Scare Meh says

    I Love It, You Have A Great Title, Just Need To Wrk On Your Story Alil Mre As Was Said In A Comment Previously, But You Have A Great Imagination And Wldnt Mind Reading Mre Of Your Wrk….:-)):-))

  5. KuroNeko says

    Umm…question it says ther was no hot water for the shower, yet there was steam on the mirror…steam come from hot water yet she was showering in icy cold…another thing a cable box is for the t.v. Not the electricity and hot water comes from the boiler not an electrical appliance…and why did the door jam? How did she know someone was in the house D: im so confuseds

  6. LunaIsisWitch says

    Her mom goes out, but she assumed it’s her PARENTS returning? As in the loving mother and the dad who is stalking her? Nice try at a story though. I’m not much of a typer though so it’s not like a story of mine would get submitted, but i do know a few scarier than this, mostly about the real demons of the Magick world though.

  7. paranormal99 says

    My dad won’t kill me, but he might kill my boyfriend lol
    …Why did he kill Dean and his daughter?? He CrAzY

  8. Dead Girl XXx says

    MegIz you’re as incredible as always right? :D Well, i adore this story! It gave me creeeeps!

  9. Aurelia says

    I’m going to write my thoughts down as I read this, so that I can give you some constructive feed back. :) Two things popped out at me almost immediately. Why would her parents ring the bell? They have a key. Oh and in the first paragraph you said that only her Mother had gone out, not both parents. And after getting a note that said that someone was watching crimson, she thinks to herself that she’s being watched? The stalker already told her that fact, so it didn’t make sense. You also need to indicate a scene change, with a few stars or a horizontal line or something. One minute she was in bed and in the next paragraph, you were talking at about hot water. O_o It took a moment to realize that you were writing about a few days later. Then a note from Dean…who you wrote.no explanation for. A boyfriend? Why was she okay with him coming into her house and switching everything off? And being told to go to school in the middle of the night? Why di her dad kill her? And where was her mom that she wasn’t in the house when the power was switched off? The message also didn’t make sense. ‘Read this before something bad happens.’ How was reading those words supposed to prevent something? It didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t scary, but with some editing and adding more details to give it some suspense, it could be a good read. When you described the dad, I was thinking that he sounded like Blue Beard the pirate! Lol

  10. So_AWESOME says

    Wow. Her dad was just creepy. I mean, who licks the blood off a corpes. Especially if its his daughter. Eww gross

  11. sirrens quinn says

    it realy had me wondering what would happen next, n i was like OMG, daddy wants to kill her, OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH

  12. MegIz says

    AcidDrop, when I wrote this, I separated paragraphs with lines and they didn’t put them there.

  13. AcidDrop says

    one HUGE fault in this story…. it says she went back to bed and fell asleep, then the next paragraph says shes in the shower… makes no sense, get it right next time please.

  14. Cannibalisim is yum says

    2 things. first cool story bro. secondly gears of war doesnt suite the picture of this story it should be rose petals and a pale background

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