Funny Stories

Blind Woman

The Blind Woman is a short humorous story about an old lady who keeps a memento of her dead husband.

Blind Woman

There was an old blind woman who owned a farm. Her husband had been sick for years and he eventually died. She cried for days and decided to chop off his finger to keep as a memento. As he lay in the coffin, she felt around for his middle finger, grabbed it and chopped it off with a knife. She wrapped the finger in a handkerchief and kept it in her pocket.

One night, the old blind woman was lying in bed when she heard footsteps downstairs. She recognized those footsteps. They sounded exactly like the footsteps of her dead husband. A shiver ran down her spine as she heard the footsteps walking up the stairs. She heard her bedroom door creak open and the smell of death filled the room.

Tremblingwith fear, the old blind woman said “Have you come back for your finger?”

She heard the ghostly voice of her dead husband reply, “That wasn’t my finger you chopped off!”

75 Comments

  • I just had such fun *twitch twitch* reading all these comments. But sadly she cut off her own finger. Not his. He came to tell her what she did to herself.

  • For those who don’t understand and were not helped by the comments:
    She cut off his penis.
    THERE I SAID IT

  • I’m laughing so hard but then again I’m a guy so this is incredibly painful to think about😂😂😂😂😂

  • I’m only 10 and I understand this. This is dirty, the second I figured out I was just thinking this is scary for KIDS KIDDDS not adults.. e_e

  • Well, now he can’t use the middle finger in Heaven…! Or so she thought………

  • …… Unfortunately I got this cause I have a lot of male cousins…….. Sounds like something they or my granda (grandfather, ‘da’ is father in Gaelic) would joke about………. But, I mean people stop freaking out! It’s just kinda disturbing, but think about it. BUT THIS IS A KIDS WEBSITE, COME ON!!! I thought of my grandma when I saw the pic.

  • The first thing that pops into my mind after reading this is that she cut off his butt!!!!!!!(Not all of it but the……)

  • She cut of his dick lol.Maybe he needed to do something with it in the afterlife.XD Don’t worry kids won’t understand

  • CAN ANYONE PLEASE TELL WHAT DID SHE CHOP OFF? IF ANYBODY TELL THANKYOU IN ADVANCE

  • Read 2 many comments! :p just realized after first one still call urself afk KIDS!? Sick lol

  • Wait, didn’t he have pants on when they placed him in the coffin? So it couldn’t have been the ” thing”.Plus, she was fumbling around for the finger, unless he was nude this theory makes no sense. It couldn’t have been his toe either, he probably had shoes on. Just stop being so dirty minded and try looking at the facts,you don’t burry someone naked so she couldn’t have cut it off!

  • One second after reading story: -.- What did she chop off?

    Three second after reading story: -.- What did she chop off?

    Five seconds after reading story: O_O EWWWW OH GOD WHY!!!!

  • Omg. I just laughed so hard. His Peewee. GO SPECSAVERS LADY!! You ruined his chance of babies in the AfterLife.

  • I just had a fridge-horror moment. This is what my I did after finishing the story:

    One second after finishing: ^u^

    Three seconds: ^u^

    Five seconds: O_O!!!!

  • OMG that was his private thingy lol I thought at first it was her own finger but then I thought that she would feel it , I really think this should be on funny stories because I was ROFL

  • his penis> lol funny story.oh because she was blind she thought it was his midle finger but a middle finger isn’t that long and massive, oh sorry for typing all that :( mind my language.

  • Well like most people here I assumed that she chopped off HER finger but then I realised that she cut off his um……….. “down stairs”. BTW I dont like saying it cause I feel uncomfortable. *shudder*

  • I never knew that some people make such a big deal over a simple word, how immature. . . — ____ —“

  • sumtimes sfk copies like this story. they copied this frum scary stories to tell in the dark. but every1 does it =)

    Scaryforkids says: Sorry Yellow Dash, but that is not true… All of the stories in “Scary Stories to tell in the dark” are urban legends. The guy who wrote that book doesn’t own any of those stories. They are folktales that have been passed around for decades. Also, I made up this story, inspired by The Golden Arm which is an old folktale from the 1800s… Mark Twain even wrote a version of it.

  • Due to my mind & brain, I instantly KNEW it wasn’t his finger. In fact, I knew exactly what she cut off. o-e

  • Well that was rude of the dead husband! Hello, the old woman is blind! Give her a break, besides it was close enough no?

  • ewwww! how could she mix up a middle finger and his man parts!? she must have thot hi middle finger was huge!

  • @imyournightmaregirl211 I was about to say that xD hahaha it must of been,if she thought that was hiz finger lol

  • huh it would have to be kinda small for her to think it was his finger… akward

  • At first I thought she chopped off her own finger but then she would have fel pain. Im still a bit confused but did she take his dangly bits?

  • OMG SHE CUT OFF HIS BABY MAKING PART XD. BTW SFK KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK YOUR STORIES ARE AMAZING I LOVE ALL OF THEM =)

  • Wow… This is really funny if you have the right mind for it. XD Thankfully, my mind has been corrupt to that point. I share some of the stories I read on here over facebook chat with my friends, and they absolutely love your stories as much as I do. Keep up the good work SFK! :)

  • @SCARYFORKIDS… Do you make up these stories on your own or do you get them somewhere? Either way, they are awesome and I just want to complement on your website, its absolutely amazing, keep up the great work, cheers!

  • Haha… @Anyone who doesn’t understand… She chopped off his baby making machine, hehehe…

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